Arsonist's Lullabye

Chapter Four: Home Sweet Home

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Home Sweet Home

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Ten Years Earlier...

The monitor on the machine beeped every few minutes. Everyone kept telling me everything was going to be ok, But I knew differently. "Tabby", My mother screeched out with her dry deathly voice from the hospital bed, She motioned for me to come closer. I stepped closer towards my mother and felt a sense of sadness from within. "I don't have much time", She murmured into my cold hands as she tried to squeeze them. I haven't always been the best mother to you, She tried to explain as she let out a nasty harsh cough. "You're the best mom!", I blurted out, trying to erase that dying cough from my thoughts. I could tell she was struggling to just finish her sentence. "Listen, She demanded". I moved closer to her and gazed at her like I was ready to hear what she had to say. "I...I wasn't honest with you", She whispers as the door opens quickly. The nurse comes in and continues caring for my mother, As soon as she finished up and noted something on her clipboard she was gone again. 

I looked over to my mother and she continued, "Tabby, Miles is not your real father". I stared at her and I could see a tear run down her face. My mother never cried in front of me, I knew this was serious. I cleared my throat and asked: "Who is my father?" My mother shifted her weight on the hospital bed and let out a short cough followed by a wheezing sound. "Just promise me," she said out loud in pain. Ok, I promise I declared firmly as I nodded my head at her. "Just promise me, You won't tell anyone else this secret". My mother raised her head a little and told me my father was Daniel Stedfast. She went on to say how she had a one-night affair with him during a break-up between him and my aunt Sophie. The news didn't quite set in at that moment, Considering I was only 14 years old. My mother passed away a few days later from lung cancer in that same bed that I held her hand in day after day. I was at peace with her death, I saw her pain and suffering and knew it was time for us to say goodbye. What I wasn't at peace with was that daunting secret that she left behind, That secret that changed everything. I felt anger and sadness and betrayal. Why couldn't she have just not told me? I loved my father Miles, He was a good man. I think the part that hurts the most is knowing my real father has already past away. I came to terms with losing two parents that day and went home and smiled at my cat "Harold" as I cut up pictures from my past.

I lifelessly looked out the car window into the rainy weather beating down outside. "What do you think about that one," Miles said with his cheerful voice. I looked at the house he was referring to and shook my head no. Since my mother died, Miles thought it would be a good idea to move somewhere new, Somewhere fun and exciting. I started calling him Miles after my mother passed away and I could tell it hurt his feelings, I'm sure he thinks its a phase from dealing with my mother's death but I have my reasons now, Reasons that I have yet to disclose to anyone.

We drove around endlessly for hours and hours it seemed. I noticed the highway sign said: Fredericksburg - 5 Miles. Hey, This could be fun I thought to myself as I quickly turned to Miles and said: "What about living near Grandma Edith?" Miles smiled and said, "Hey, there's that smile I miss!". Miles steered the car into the far right lane so he wouldn't miss the Fredericksburg's exit. We both looked at each other and I could see the light in his eyes, He wanted nothing more than to make me happy. We passed Grandmas house and I didn't see any signs that indicated there was a house for sale. We drove around the neighborhood and nothing seemed available. Grandmas neighborhood reminded me of my mother, I began to remember my mother's cold grasp and her deathly voice, Those last words. I felt a thousand different emotions rush over me all at once as I swung the car door open, "Whoa!", Miles screamed as he slammed on the brakes. "What are you doing" Miles looked at me as I jumped out of the car into the pouring rain. 

I bent down so I could make eye contact with him, I..I can't handle this and I slammed the car door in his face. The rain hit my face as if it was trying to destroy me. I cried, I cried hard. I looked at the humming car perched in the rain and decided moving was to much stress for me. I started running, I ran until my feet hurt, I ran until I had nothing left. I started to slow down to a light jog, Tears filled my eyes and I could barely see anything. I didn't care, I kept on moving. Aaaaarrrrg! I blurted out as my knee hit the sidewalk. I tripped over a stupid broken rock. I held my knee for a second as I sat there on the cold wet sidewalk, The rain falling harshly into my face soaking everything that was dry. I sobbed, "Why did you have to leave me" I knew I wasn't handling my mother's death well and I couldn't help but to cry into my scraped knee. I could hear the humming of the car coming up the road I knew it was Miles, I knew I had to deal with this.

"Get in the car, Tabby" Miles yelled through the passenger's window, That was now rolled down half way. "No" I screamed! I went to turn my head away from him so he didn't see me crying. Behold, under this huge big Oaktree stood a crooked bent sign that read: Townhome For Sale.

This was it, The perfect house, The perfect location. I got up from the ground and ran over to the driver's window. Miles lowered the window quickly and leaned towards me as I approached him. "This is it", I squealed into the window of the warm car. Miles looked at me like I was crazy and then smiled and looked at the sign that I was so desperately pointing out to him. "Get in the car," Miles said as he smiled a happy smile. I got into the car and Miles put the phone number from the sign into his cell phone. I felt the pain from my knee throbbing as Miles raised his cell phone to his right ear. 

A moment passed, "No Answer" Miles blurted out towards me. I let out a long sigh and said: "Keep trying". The rain continued to pour down and beat against the car making alternating thumping sounds. I couldn't help but think about my real father. Would he be proud of me? Do I have his eyes? If Daniel Stedfast was my real father that would make my cousin Amber my half-sister. I pushed all the secrets aside and smiled at Miles. We sat there for a moment and the phone rang loudly inside the cab of the car. "Hello", Miles answered the phone and looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I could tell that it was the realtor from the sign because Miles kept on talking about the Oaktree and the property for sale. I smiled into the foggy window as I looked at the soaking wet Townhome, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Home sweet home".