Sir playboy

F i f t e e n

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I don't understand.
He loves me.. right?

The distance between us has grown wider than an apple fallen from it's tree. We have spoken less and less everyday and I don't even know what to say to him. I know he's been working hard but I just can't the courage to tell him how I feel. I miss his hands on my body, I miss his lips against mine. I miss feeling the love he gave me.
I miss him.
Even thought he's right in front of me.

"What are you staring at gorgeous". He questions, noticing my 'notice me senpai' staring.

I didn't have to say anything, Because by the look on my face he could tell exactly how I felt.

I felt neglected.
I felt alone.
I felt like I was back at home.

"Stay at mine tonight, i'll take you out for dinner; okay?" He's been stressing himself out and here he is offering to take me out and let me spend the night with him.

I think I love him.
Sincerely, honestly, whole- heartedly.

He cares about me, he really does. And that's all i've ever wanted.

Buzz buzz

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, who could be texting me? Ken and Felix are at work.

I look down a see a new message on my screen.

Unknown number:
Do you really think he cares about someone like you?
Do you actually think that you're special? Well you're not. And you never will be.
You're nothing to him.

I wasn't really sure how to react, who could this even be? I could feel my eyes beginning to water, Mark couldn't see me like this; he has enough going on right now. Before the first tear can fall I pull myself up and run to the bathroom- locking the door behind me.

How stupid could I be?
To think that he'd care about me.
Nobody will ever care about me.

Bang bang bang
"Baby are you okay in there".

"Y-yeah" My voice cracked, shit. What if he knows? Will he be mad?

He's gonna be mad at me. I'm suppose to be doing work, not being a crybaby in the toilet. I wipe my eyes with my sleeves and slowly walk
towards the bathroom door. A surge of panic runs through me.
What if he's angry?
I need this job.
I need him.

As soon as the lock clicks open I can hear Mark step back. I slowly open the door- refusing to look up at him, I was ashamed. Ashamed of being a crybaby, ashamed of being so stupid.

"Sean, look at me". His voice was calm and slow. I looked up at him, he looked sleep deprived, stressed and now also worried.

"I-i'm sorry M-mark". Tears began to fall down my face again, but this time they wouldn't stop. I expected Mark to be angry but all I feel is strong arms wrap around me. I grabbed onto Mark's shirt like my life depended on it. He whispered calming things into my ear like 'You're going to be okay', 'I'm right here with you and I'm not going anywhere', 'Take a deep breath, i'm so proud of you Jack'.

I had calmed down within seconds.
Was this man a God in solving every little thing?

"Now, do you want to talk about it or are you alright?"

"I-i'm alright".
I'm not alright, i'm far from alright.
I want to tell you, i'm just not sure how you'll react.
I'm scared you'll say that it's true; that I really am nothing to you.
I don't want to be nothing to you.

"Okay, I'm going to let you take the rest of the day off; go home and get some stuff". He puts a key in my hand. "Meet me at my place". He says before kissing my lips with one last smile and going back to his desk.

I love him.

But i'm nothing.