On Thin Air

Be still My Heart

Those big brown eyes of hers rounded significantly. Looking at him more with wonder than animosity.

His heart raced. He trudged on. "I'll won't lock the door, so I'll wait for you."

Namjoo didn't answer him, but he waited when they split up after dinner. Sitting at the edge of the bed. Wondering if the door would open at all.

He didn't expect much. Yet he hoped that Namjoo wanted to give their marriage a chance despite the failings of their luck. If they could have nothing at all, at least they could have a good handle in their marriage.

Sehun waited a bit more then turned the lights off and lay in bed staring at his empty bedside.

ꜛꜛꜛꜛꜛ

Sitting in bed Namjoo hugged the blanket up to her chest. Not sure what to think, how to react. Wishing there was someone to show her the way. She couldn't sort out anything in her head. The feelings that didn't really feel like her feelings.

Was Sehun really waiting?

Namjoo tucked her knees up higher toward her chest. Feeling more lost than ever. This thing that should be anger wasn't really anger. She should be hating Sehun.

But...she didn't feel a dark thing for him.

Not even after he got her to sleep with him. Through the dark Namjoo glanced in the direction of her garbage can. Thinking about the pills she had tossed. Bundling the blanket into her hand she buried her face into her knees.

She really didn't know what to do anymore.

ꜛꜛꜛꜛꜛ

At the breakfast table the next morning Namjoo tried not to look up when Sehun came down to eat. She stirred the food on her plate. Confused if she should feel guilty for not going to him. He didn't say anything but ate and left like he always did.

Namjoo cleared the table, helped with the dishes, and went dusting around the house. Taking her time going from room to room. Puffing the pillows, remaking the beds, rearranging the lamps on the bedside tables because there was nothing else to do. Then she took a break for lunch. Ate on the back porch while staring into the wilderness. Watching the wind blow through the grass. After putting her dishes away she resumed work.

Reaching the master bedroom an hour later. Hesitating outside the door. Twisting the knob she peeked inside. Sehun still kept minimal things around. There was no pictures sitting around. Not even one of his mother. Everything was same as when she'd been here a few days ago.

Peering at the bed Namjoo wondered if he slept on one side always or did he move around? She hesitated before running her fingers across his pillow. Withdrawing her hand the next second and coiled her fingers up.

Swiveling around she closed the door and hurried down the hall with her heart rumbling and tumbling.

ꜛꜛꜛꜛꜛ

Dinner was set when he arrived home. He wanted to take his time, but his legs were moving at their own quick pace. He thought about Namjoo, wondered what she did today. The kitchen lady was wearing a new apron. Namjoo had one on, too. She'd also tied her hair up during the day. She was on standby watching the elder woman pour food onto a big oval plate when he walked up to the dining table.

"And there you go." The elder woman lifted the plate into her hands. "Now go on. He's here."

Namjoo turned to see him. He should have looked away, but he didn't. If possible he thought she was getting a lot prettier. There was a sudden urge to run his hand through the silk of her hair.