collect

untitled flight

my head hurts and i don't do anything

my stomach is upset and i ignore it

my wings are so sore it hurts to fly, but i don't rest

and i leave my heart to fracture, into smaller and smaller pieces.

i chirp about things i do not know, saying they are my best friends

i sing songs i did not write, nor can i relate to

i escape into stories that i know i will never live

and i stay sane.

i am always told that if i do not soar, i will be dragged down into the abyss

but i wonder why i can't just cruise at low altitude

i wish to see the flight to the end

why can i not dip and dive and come back up and enjoy myself?

my way or the highway they say

and for a poor bird like me, the highway is dangerous

unknown, a mystery

will i coast above the small cars and be happy?

or will a semi truck catch me from behind and take me out?

perhaps i will miss the bridge coming up and crash

maybe i will make it all the way to the coast

i can just continue, and lose myself above the lake, the sea, the ocean.

an exit i did not know existed could catch my attention, and keep me

or one day i will simply get tired of flying, and disappear into the surrounding countryside

i will veer away from the highway, and find a tree untouched by civilization

and i will be happy.

of course i will miss my bird family and bird friends

but they all split

headed to opposite coasts and cities and ends of the earth

like i did.

i will find my way in the forest

in the tree

in my home.

i might need to change trees every so often

but that's okay

because i can still chirp loud enough to my new friends

that i am never lonely.

when my time comes to a close

i will find a coast

and dive into the ocean

and transform

and i will be satisfied.