Deathless (Editing)

Chapter 23: Half as Well as You Deserve

Tolly kept to the hunting trails, never daring to stray to the main paths very long. The secrecy of our travels left me to wonder what, exactly, had happened at the Harvest. And the long, listless days wasting time with winding trails under crystal blue skies convinced me that the Lord High Commander's scheme had failed in some way.

On the fifth day of our travels, I mustered the courage to ask Tolly what had happened. It was late. We had been traveling on horseback for fourteen hours. After the first day of traveling, Tolly had purchased a young palfry to ride, leaving me to tame the Lord High Commander's mount. Our horses were tied and grazing on the midnight grass while we supped near a blazing fire.

Over stewed rabbit and boiled roots, I leaned close to the warmth of the campfire and searched Tolly's face. At the time, he was paying me no attention. He was engrossed by the stew, likely starving from having so little for so long. I was better with hunger, having mastered the sensation of emptiness gnawing at my belly long ago.

Privately, I admired Tolly. The flickering reds and oranges of the fire suited him. His keen face, his pale blue eyes, the lines of his shoulders never betrayed him as anything other than a well-practiced lieutenant. "What happened at the Harvest?" I asked, finally.

Tolly deflected the question with a clever grin. "I could ask you the same thing."

Blanching, I realized my part in the debacle. Had I not shown myself for what I was, whatever the Lord High Commander's plot had been, it likely would have succeeded.

"I found you screaming," Tolly said, narrowing the space between us, "sunken in a bed of flowers."

I did not remember screaming. But, it was possible. My memory of that day was so jumbled. "I don't remember much," I admitted, finding his blue eyes in the flickering light.

"Oil of the godsbreath tends to have that effect," came his pat response.

My brows lifted at this. "Oh. You have much experience with it?" I couldn't resist the smug grin. Tolly wasn't a fiend even if he had toyed with the drug, of that I was certain. True addicts were physically weak, had yellowing teeth, and breath of the dead. Tolly bore none of these signs.

An impish grin curved his mouth. "I've done terrible things, Riverly," he admitted, smile dissipating, as if his statement required no further explanation. He was a lieutenant of the Horde of Forty. He was the Lord High Commander's righthand man. Duty required terribleness.

"I was pulled out of the processing line," I said, the words spewing forth, unbidden. "They dragged me to the purity tent."

Tolly flinched, as if he knew this story's end before hearing it, but he did not say a word. He mastered the lines of his face well, and any trace of disgust, whether it was aimed at me or the men, faded. Yet, as he patiently waited for me to continue, I could see he was bracing himself.

"They tore back my robe and pinned me down," I said, meeting his gaze coolly, as if we had sat down for tea. "And when they discovered whatever it was they thought they needed to find, they wanted to," I stopped. I couldn't say the word. I pushed that memory back, along with all the other memories that I did not want to confront right then, or perhaps ever again.

Tolly straightened at my story, seeing my despair, my shame. "They died," his voice had the distinct ting of iron in it, like a sword being drawn from a scabbard. "The men entombed in vines were found dead. The thorns had drained them dry."

My jaw hardened.

He watched me through the flicking flame, eyes set and chin raised up.

"Good," I replied.

He did not bat an eye at my silent rage. "The Lord High Commander did not convince the Morning Priest to let you go," Tolly revealed, likely feeling an obligation to pay bad news with more bad news.

"He failed?" I asked. It was as I thought, but hearing it stole my breath.

"He failed," Tolly gave a slow nod of his head, "so he sent me to spirit you away."

"You're good at that."

He started at this. A stubborn flicker of muscle tightened in his jaw. "I said I've done terrible things." There was an edge to his voice, but one that sounded like the realization cut him deeper than it cut me.

A wry grin thinned my lips. I was being unfair, but it was so rare that I could push him off balance. "I suppose killing three men wasn't an un-terrible thing for me to do."

Tolly's head tilted to the side. "Not terrible at all."

"Do you know why we are going to Draken Domain?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"To get a gift." Tolly shrugged, leaving me to wonder if he knew more than he let on.

"Did the Lord High Commander tell you what kind of gift?"

"He said you would know."

I didn't, and I was too afraid to search my memories to find out. I bit my lip nervously. "Did he say what we would find there?"

Tolly sipped at the broth from the rabbit stew. "No." His gaze fastened to mine.

"What is supposed to live in the Draken Domain?"

"How would I know?"

My brows pulled together. Desperately, I wanted Tolly to solve this riddle. "The Lord High Commander told me that we would find one of the four monsters there."

Tolly tilted his head back at this. "Ammit," he said, likely following the same line of logic that I had used.

"Ammit."

Tolly sank back a little against the fallen tree behind him. He looked rattled, like his thoughts had scattered in his head. Maybe he was expecting a different kind of a monster. Maybe he wasn't expecting a monster at all.

"I don't know much about Ammit other than she's a chimera and a death-eater," I said, meekly. "Do you know anything more?"

Tolly eyed me through the flames, licking up to the sky. His gaze was sharp, endless. It pulled me forward. I could feel his anger, how his heart beat a slow, steady rhythm, how his blood chilled. I could feel the way his breath flooded into his lungs, long and slow draws. He was seething angry.

"I do," he growled.

Without another word, another look, even a passing acknowledgment, he left me. Wordlessly, he took shelter in the small bivouac he had made for the two of us.

I stared at his place, now empty, at the campfire. I stared deep into the dark contours of the fallen tree that he had been leaning against. I wasn't ready to join Tolly for the night.

He deserved the anger he felt, whatever it meant.