Mackenzie Ziegler. Brown haired, Brown eyed. Short, smart, and curvy.
Johnny Orlando. Tall, dark, handsome. A green eyed, brown haired hunk.
Fights. Makeouts. Deep, meaningful songs. Failed dates. Romantic kisses. Confessions; any of them. Giggles...
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I squat down on the ground, focussed and steady, training my eyes onto Johnny's wild locks of hair. After exhaling and running my fingers gently through a section, I close the scissors, listening to the satisfying snip and watching as strands of hair fall onto the ground.
Johnny's quiet.
My stomach fills up with butterflies, but I push them away and think of the task at hand. Come on Mackenzie, you can ignore your blatant feelings for him long enough to cut his hair I tell myself. Sighing, I move from section to section, making sure it's all even. Time seems to stand still and almost feel trapped. Neither of us are talking. Do I break the spell?
I prolong cutting the front of his hair for as long as I can, completing the sides and back before I finally get the courage to stand up and walk around the chair he's perched in so we're face to face. I ease down again, silent as a mouse.
His eyes flutter open and he watches me almost gently. I pretend not to notice as I bring my hands and the scissors up to his fringe. I curse out loud when I see that my hands are shaking. This pulls a smile from him, and when he sees that I've gone beet red he chuckles softly.
I smile polietly, not at him, but I just smile. Squatting down here hurts myself and the baby, but of course he doesn't know about that. I almost get lost in thought, but snap myself out of it quickly enough.
Biting my lip now, I pull his fringe down so it's all even. When it is, I cut delicately so all the strands are the same length. My legs ache when I'm done, but I forget completly about that when I meet his eyes and see the way he's staring at me.
It scares me. Because the last time somebody looked at me like that, I got pregnant.
"Mackenzie." He breathes softly, eyes searching my face up and down before they finally settle on my lips. My hands are still in his hair, the scissors clasped in my left hand.
My breath hitches and adrenaline floods through my veins. Noone has ever said my name like that before. Like a caress. So full of love.
There's less than an inch between us, and my body tenses when I think of this. Our eyes finally meet, and before I can think sensibly, we're both leaning forward and our lips meet, heads tilting in opposite directions. I drop the scissors and they fall to the floor with a clang, but we barely notice.
We kiss deeply, languidly. We both know we have all the time in the world. I somehow know that I need to stop as it's unfair to be kissing him when he doesn't know the truth about me- but I decide to ignore it for a few more minutes, because this is the nicest I've felt in weeks.
I cup his face in my hands, and he slides down to the ground so we're both kneeling on the wooden floor. He pulls away, trailing kisses down my neck. Fire lights under my skin wherever he touches, and I gasp for breath. As his lips press against my collarbone, I accidentally make a noise of content.
Johnny chuckles in my ear and kisses my cheek softly, turning shy. I try to fight my own smile, but it makes an appearance anyway.
That is, until Johnny's hands slip up my t-shirt dress and his hands rest on my baby bump.
It might not have been so obvious what the bump actually was if I didn't gasp and go rigid in his arms.
Immediately I want to get up and run away, as I'm filled with shame and humiliation, I find that I can't. My feet won't work. My eyes fill with tears an my mouth falls open and thoughts race through my mind. That's when I'm finally able to come to my senses, and I run.
"Oh, fuck." He swears from behind me, and as I run through the tiny apartment to my bedroom I hear him stumble up off the wooden floor and run after me. Desperate for some distance between us, I slam my bedroom door shut and sit against it, breathing heavily.
That's it. I've wrecked any chances I had with Johnny. I withheld the truth, and now I have to face the repercussions.
Johnny knocks on the door. "Kenz?" He chokes out.
Silent tears stream down my cheeks. "It's okay, John. You can leave. Don't worry about me." I choke out, putting my head in my hands and taking in shaky breaths.
"Goddamn it, Kenz, I'm not leaving." He says firmly.
"It's better if you leave." I sob. "Just go."
"No. Because you're not okay. You're upset."
"Like hell I am." I say, watching as my bedroom becomes blurry with tears.
"I'm sorry, Kenz. I didn't mean to find out– but I... are you pregnant?"
I stand up and open the door so that he can see me and there's space between us. My hands flutter, and not knowing where to put them, I settle them on my stomach. Johnny watches me like he had been when I was cutting his hair; curiously, but full of love.
As slow as possible, I utter the words that I've been trying to get out for the last few weeks whenever I'm with him. "I'm eight months pregnant, J."
Johnny takes me by surprise. With feather light fingers, and ever so slow movements, he kneels down, putting both hands on either side of my belly and kissing in the middle.
Fresh tears in my eyes form at the gesture as more adrenaline rushes through me. Why do I have to feel like this every time he touches me?
"Who's the father?" He whispers, looking up at me in awe.
I swallow, hard. "I don't know. I– I had a one night stand with a stranger from a bar. I was so drunk, I just... don't know."
"Kenz..." His voice trails away as he stands up and holds my hands. "You're so brave, love. So brave."
I bite my lip, furiously keeping the tears away. I know my voice won't come out right, so I just nod up and down.
"Would you ever... maybe, or just consider, letting me be a part of this?" His eyes are full of hope, expression determined.
Whatever I had been expecting him to say next, it hadn't been that. "I– what?" To say I'm confused would be a big understatement.
"I like you, like a lot, and I was just...." He looked away and then looked back at me, frustrated. "Fuck," he then cursed, "I'm not good at speeches."
Through my tears, I chuckle, hoping beyond belief he's suggesting what I think he is.
"I want to be with you. You know. For the rest of my life. And you being pregnant with someone else's baby doesn't change that." He sounds so nervous it's almost cute.
It's silent for a long, long time.
"I– I don't want to do this alone anymore." Finally, I burst into tears, and as his arms circle around me it only makes me cry harder.
"Heyy, I got you, love. We'll be alright. It'll be okay. Promise."
And in that moment, I believed him. I knew that life was about to get a whole lot better.
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hi it's been a hot minute since i've updated this book.
