When You're Asexual || s.s.

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A/N: Apologies that this update is slightly late. I was unable to upload it, due to server issues but nevertheless, enjoy!



For the song, may I suggest skipping to 1.03. :D

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"Seb, I'm Asexual."





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"What did you just say?" he whispered in a low voice.




You could not believe you had just come out to Sebastian.




Cursing internally you pulled away from your boyfriend and attempted to walk towards the door but one of his hands quickly caught your wrist, pulling you back towards him.




Your cheeks were afire with a vibrant blush, as you averted your stare to the floor, unable to meet his gaze. "(Y/N)..." Sebastian spoke softly to you, tipping your chin up slightly with finger. Finally you lifted your focus to meet his serious gaze. "Say it again." he pleaded quietly.




You had always dreamed of the day you did but could never had you been able to find the right words. How did you confess to the person you loved that yes, you adored them completely but had no desire/interest when it came to sex?




It was especially difficult to explain each element of your asexuality, since it differed from Ace to Ace. On the Aspec, there are those that are sex -repulsed, -indifferent, -positive and even willing to participate in the intimacy with their partner for a multitude of reasons. And least you not forget those who identified with Demi /Graysexuality.



"I can't remember?" you said innocently, your attempt at a statement sounding more like a question.



He knew that you were trying to cover up your mistake but he wanted to hear you say it again. He needed to hear you say it again. He hated the idea of you having to live a lie, just so that others wouldn't look at you differently, wouldn't treat you differently. Was he a part of the 'others' you were so self-conscious about? You deserved the right to be able to be honest about who you truly were. Sebastian wanted you to be honest with him. He was ready, always had been but how were you to know?




"Nothing is going to change if you tell me. I promise you, (Y/N), I love you. I really, really love you. Whatever you say, I'll support you no matter what. You're my (gender). We're in this relationship together." he stated plainly, realising he would have to remind you that this was a safe space, before you ever uttered those three words again.




Your beautiful eyes widened in confusion and shock. The brunet leant forward slightly, your foreheads now touching. "Doll, you can say it again. I love you and I will never judge you."




It was time to be honest, wasn't it? How much longer could you spend your life living a lie? This was Sebastian for goodness sake, he adored you. If you were to come out to anyone, your loyal and caring boyfriend was probably the best person, right? "I..." the singular word was more of a sigh of relief. "I am Asexual." you replied, a smile spreading across you lips. It faded quickly as your expression became sombre once more. You studied his facial features for a moment, your right hand brushing away a rogue strand of hair from his face. "I'm Asexual, Seb."




And then you cried, not tears of sorrow but happiness. It felt like the weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. Finally, you were free. Free of the lies, the feelings of shame, the feeling of wondering if you'd ever be enough for anyone. You were enough. As Sebastian had said, you were in this together. He wasn't planning on going anywhere soon. I'm sorry, (Y/n), but it looked like you were stuck with him.




"I only know a little bit about your sexuality but I going to do what I can to make sure you never feel pressured or uncomfortable. I just want you to be happy." he confessed in a whispered voice as he held you close, vowing mentally to never let you feel like you couldn't be honest with him ever again. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line, Doll."

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