Sebastian Stan/Bucky Barnes Smut

When He's Dying || b.b.

Warning: There be death ahead...and road works.

You sat, side by side, cold air nipping at your nose, fingers and toes, as the arctic wind blew threw the bare trees, rattling their wooden spines.

Hot beverages provided minimal warmth, the festive concoction delicious to the taste but soured by the unfortunate reason for your meeting.

The bench, though uncomfortable, was neutral ground for you both. No joyful or painful memories had been made in the park. An equal battleground for you to discuss you inevitable events that led to your uncoupling.

Such a far cry from when you sat on the balcony, closing your eyes as you let the gentle summer breeze wash over your skin.

The wooden chair creaked under yojr weight as you shifted slightly to make yourself more comfortable.

You loved sitting outdoors, watching the dying sun set for another day. The lasting rays of warmth danced upon your skin.

The sound of the balcony door opening had made you smile, eyes remaining closed.

The tantilising sensation of soft lips pressed to your neck, made you giggle. "Hey!" you had squeaked.

He placed another kiss to your jaw, smiling. "Hello, gorgeous."

The handsome male moved to sit in a chair beside you. "Been out here long?"

You had turned your head towards him, your eyes reflecting the bright beams of light. "Since you were in the shower."

He had reached across and took yourhand in his, pulling you to perch on his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as you leant your head on top of his. "This is nice." the male whispered after a period of quiet.

You couldn't have agreed more. "We haven't done this in such a long time."
you snaked your arms around his neck, burying your face in the spot between his neck and shoulder.

"I know."

"Can we stay like this forever?" you placed a kiss to his temple, lips lingering.

He chuckled, smile broadened. You had once loved his laugh. "Anything you want, sweetheart."

"I love you."

"I love you too." he murmured.

And there you had sat together, wrapped in each other's arms, watching the stars begin to shine through the darkening sky.

How you wished you could go back to those simplier times.

"Are you happier?" his question cuts through the atmosphere like a cliched, metaphorical knife. The first sentence he had uttered, since your awkward greeting.

Texting one another, to arrange the meet up, had been fairly straight forward. It allowed time for pause, to write and rewrite a single, perfect reply. Conversations face to face were messy, full of tied tongues and failed emotial expression due to an inadequate vernacular.

His question caught you by surprise, since your break up, were you happier? Had his leaving bettered you life, allowed you to grow in a way that his presence had hindered?

Your friends and family would have prompted you to lie, had they been present. To lie and say how good things were going for you but you could not lie to this man.

In truth, you were an emotional mess, more so than usual. Why not be honest when you had already lost what you once had?

"No." you replied frankly, focusing on the landscape that stretched beyond your own little melodrama, refusing to look directly at the man who had broken your heart. "You?"

He didn't even pause when he said, "No." mirroring your response.

There was no anger left within your weary soul, perhaps a twinge of surprise but mostly you were just emotionally numb to the whole situation. Happy? Certainly not. You merely drifted through each day on autopilot.

And so his reply prompted a follow up question. "Then why are we torturing ourselves instead of doing what makes us happy?"

He mulled over your question, mentally adding to and deleting his response. A cerebral text message. "Because I don't know how much longer I'll be able to make you happy."

That somewhat caught your interest. "What do you mean?"

He couldn't bring himself to reply, not for a long moment. "I..."

You watched in horror as he slowly broke down before you, tears pouring down his face as he buried his face in your shoulder.


"No..." you whispered, wrapping your arms around his shaking frame, with sudden realisation as to what he had implied. "Please tell me it's not true."

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N)."

"Please, no." you whined like a wounded animal, holding him even closer, almost gathering your ex-lover into your arms. "Not you."

"I'm so, so sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" you wailed without shame as to which stranger walking passed heard your cries of distress. "What the actual f*ck, is that why you broke up with me?"

In the grand scheme of it all, it seemed so trivial to bring up your one thought a failed relationship but you had to know, you had to know the truth. If not now, then when? Time was evidently running out and you simply needed answers.

He grimaced at your anger but you had every right to be livid at his actions. He knew that, he had regretted your uncoupling ever since that day he had broken your heart. "I wanted to try and spare you from suffering with me but apparently I only caused you more pain. And...and I'm so f*cking sorry. You have to know that. I'm so sorry for being selfish and not telling you sooner. I..." he sobbed. "I was just so scared."

You pulled away and stared at the dying male, searching his eyes for a hint of a lie but found none. Disbelief evident on your own facial features. "Oh, baby. I'm sorry too." you choked up again. "It's not fair."

He cupped your face in his trembling hands. "It's no one's fault, the doctors have done everything they can."

You removed his hands away from your face, taking them both in yours, both of you had hands that were as cold as ice. "There has to be more that they can do? There has to be."

"(Y/N)-"

"How long?" you interrupted him, dreading his answer.

"Three months," he whispered.


You tenderly placed a hand on the back of his head, playing with the short locks."Three months is all I get? It's not enough time, not when we're supposed to have years."

"Sweetheart-" he begged

"This is all so wrong."

He wearily pulled you into an embrace once again. "I know." he kissed the top of your head. "I know."


A/N: Part 2?