Poems

light

a,

you have shown me

how wonderful

how beautiful 

the world can be

in the short time i've known you

i want to live

more

i miss you. 

i didn't know i needed this

until you

until you.

how do i explain this?

you'll never know.

you'll never know that

last sunday

when i saw you

for the first time after two weeks

my heart was racing, my

hands shaking

you'll never know

the reason my back was turned was

not because i was rude

and didn't care, but

because i had tears in my eyes and

blood in my cheeks

because i was afraid that if you looked 

into my eyes, you'd

see through me in that moment,

see that you've given me the world.

given me another reason

shown me beauty and light

i was overwhelmed, and

i was afraid

that 

you'd see the world in my eyes and

i'd see nothing in yours.

and i know, i know

i'm nothing to you,

but when you casually greeted me

it meant everything 

even though you held out your 

hand without

even looking at me

i felt 

so 

relieved.

you remembered me, you

were there.

two weeks, it hurt

and you will never know

that i was crying that night

crying, trying to sleep

trying but failing

and my brain was all

you, you, you

you, a

i was 

terrified, leaving

i hated every second of it

because once we part

seeing you again is as uncertain as 

tomorrow

and now i am here in pain

again

not knowing if i'll get another chance to see you

if this light has flickered out forever

or if it will glow strong

you've given me something special, a

so even as not seeing you again is killing me..

i will always remember you.

thank you for giving me life.

(c) Elissar M.

26.02.2019