Break Up With Your Boyfriend, I'm Bored [ziall/ziam]

Chapter 4:

Niall could feel it. The heat in his stomach. How his words were moving up up up into his mouth. And how close his tongue and lips were to form the words he was so desperately seeking to say.

"Niall—" Zayn started again and that was enough to break the spell Niall had put on himself. He couldn't hold it back and then—

"I love you."

Moments passed. Niall could hear his heart beat so loud, he thought maybe Zayn could hear it too.

Silence was the only thing in the room for a few seconds. If Niall could, he would turn back time. He stared at Zayn and he stared right back at him, mouth agape. Niall couldn't even move, he was completely stiff and numbed by the words that had left his mouth. There was not one single thought in his head that he could grasp—everything was running wild. Niall felt like throwing up.

It felt like eternity until Zayn spoke up, even though it had only been seconds.

"Wh—what?" Zayn frowned, looking confused and unsure with Niall's statement, "What do you mean—you love me?"

Niall swallowed hard. He opened his mouth, but—there was no sound coming out. There was nothing left to say. He just kept looking at Zayn, fearing—being so incredibly scared of what was going to happen now.

Zayn leaned a bit forward, then back again as if not sure wether or not this was the right thing to do. "Like—in what way?" His words were slow, he looked like he couldn't comprehend what Niall had said.

Unfortunately, Niall knew he had to give him an answer now. There was no other choice, he was stuck in this car with Zayn for another two hours. But—Niall couldn't. He really tried, but every time he opened his mouth he closed it again, because—what was he supposed to tell him? He had to tell him the truth. But at this point, it would do more damage than anything else.

Niall closed his eyes. There was no way back.

His voice was flat when he replied. He could feel Zayn's eyes burning holes into him. "In a non-friendly way." Niall's cheeks flushed redder with every word.

Once again, there was silence. He didn't bear looking at Zayn. Niall counted the seconds ticking by.

Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one—

Zayn cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. But I'm with Liam."

Tears shot into Niall's eyes the moment he heard these words. He nodded sharply. He knew. But it didn't make him love Zayn less. He tried blinking away his tears, barely holding on to the last bit of his broken heart which was hanging on a thread.

Zayn turned away from Niall, his eyes fixed on the back of the driver seat. In this moment, Niall was thankful for the seperating glass between the front and back seat. It was enough to make a fool out of himself in front of Zayn, no-one else needed to see his desperation.

Niall turned his head away from Zayn. He felt defeated—he had tried everything. From keeping it a secret and holding a distance to telling him the truth. Nothing worked. He curled his hands into fists. Niall just wanted to cry. There was big, deep sorrow—a hole in his chest. How was he ever able to fill the void?

I'm sorry. But I'm with Liam. Niall felt like he was going crazy, going over the words again and again. He could only image how foolish he seemed now. Of course, he was with Liam. Niall knew that. Of course, Zayn would say that. Niall had sensed it. And yet he had still put himself out there. He had put his heart on the line. It was right there, for Zayn to take.