Break Up With Your Boyfriend, I'm Bored [ziall/ziam]

Chapter 6:

If Niall hadn't already felt sorrow before, he would've sworn it tore apart his heart. He felt empty inside, completely worn out. His head was constantly going around the only topic he could think about. It almost made him go crazy. He couldn't help, but wonder if all of this was his fate. Was all of this supposed to happen? Before he could finally be happy?

He couldn't describe the amount of confused he was since Zayn had left the room. He walked away, leaving Niall right there, his heart in pieces, wounds upon wounds. 

Niall cried himself to sleep that night. He was exhausted—didn't think he could take anymore. Sadness and pain were all he could feel, almost crushing him. That's how he felt. Every single body part hurt, his lungs weren't getting enough air. He just wanted to make the pain go away. He wanted to finally be happy again. The thoughts in his head were so loud, they were screaming at him. He felt cut open, his heart bleeding.

With a pillow in his arms, tears soaking it, Niall could only wish for the sleep to take him. And if he didn't wake up—maybe Niall wouldn't have cared that much. 

The next two days were full on torture. Niall knew he wasn't the toughest guy, but all of this was sucking the life out of him. His eyes hurt from the constant crying and he kept silent most of the time. Harry had talked to him a few times, trying to get anything out of him, but Niall couldn't. He couldn't bear talking about it. It was enough that he was thinking about it constantly. There was no need to say it out loud. It wouldn't change what had happened, anyway. 

It was afternoon and the sun was lighting up Niall's living room lightly. There was something Niall needed to do to free his mind of all the negative feelings and thoughts. He grabbed his guitar from its position next to the wooden cupboard and sat down on the couch. 

He took in a deep breath before letting his fingers stroke over the strings. Almost automatically, the words slipped from his lips. 

"Baby, I... I wanna know;
What do you think when your're alone, is it me?"

Niall's voice trembled as he could freely remember the words to the song he had helped writing just yesterday. 

"Are you thinking of me?
Oh, we've been friends now for a while;
Wanna know, that when you smile,
Is it me?
Are you thinking of me?"

Air was filling his lungs, he could feel the sadness start to slip away with every note he sang. For a second, he wondered if Zayn realised how much this song meant to him.

"Boy, what would you do?
Would you wanna stay?
If I were to say..."

His voice cracked a bit as tears shot up in his eyes.

"I wanna be last, yeah;
Baby, let me be your last—
Let me be your last first kiss."

Niall's fingers strung over the guitar as he finished the note and laid his head back onto the couch. He couldn't help, but reminisce about the kiss and how soft Zayn's lips had been—how desperately Zayn had been holding him close.

At the same time, he felt horrible regarding Liam. Would it have been him in his position, he would have been anything, but happy. But now—

Was everything ruined now? He could feel his crippled heart wanting to beat and beat and keep beating for Zayn. When was it ever going to stop? 

Niall kept on playing on his guitar and singing his lines until his voice became hoarse and his fingertips became numb—until he couldn't feel a thing anymore and the room was filled with darkness. He couldn't even get himself to stand up and walk over to his bedroom. He stayed right there on the couch, dried tears on his cheeks as he fell into a deep slumber.