the well- trixya

seven

The next time the two saw one another was the following Tuesday. They had made plans to take advantage of the outrageous summer heat and go tubing at their local river. It was a relaxing ride, just floating downstream for a few hours, skin baking under the sun. It gave them a perfect opportunity to  chat.

"So," Trixie began. "What are your plans for the rest of the summer?"

"I'm not doing anything special," Katya said. She was laid across her tube with her legs in the water, drifting behind her. Her chest was propped up on the tube. It was a perfect position for avoiding excess sunlight. "Are you?"

Trixie was laid across her tube and relished in the feeling of her skin under the summer sun. She wore a pink bikini covered in tiny polka dots. Katya thought she looked lovely. "My mom and step dad are going to Florida for two weeks, they're leaving me home alone."

"For two whole weeks?"

"Yeah," Trixie said. She liked being home alone; it gave her a break from all of the chaos. "It's not a big deal. I'm just gonna be bored out of my mind."

Katya smiled brightly. "What are you trying to say, Mattel?"

She hoped Trixie was trying to ask her to hang out, or to stay with her, but she wasn't entirely sure. Katya hadn't had a sleepover in a long time, and even imagining herself staying in someone else's bed gave her anxiety. In fact, it had taken a lot of coaxing for Trixie to get Katya to come tubing. She didn't like the feeling of helplessness that she imagined would come along with the experience. However, once she was actually out in the sun, in her red bathing suit, floating alongside a girl she had grown to fancy very much, it was a lot less scary than she had imagined.

Trixie had been struggling at home. When she wasn't avoiding the house, it was filled with yelling. That didn't lend itself to very much sleep. She had taken to staying at friend's houses, or even friends of friend's houses. There wasn't much food at home, either, which was odd considering her mother kept coming home with bags of clothing. Trixie guessed each piece of clothing was an apology from her step-father. Once her guardians calmed down, she was left with music blaring in her headphones, trying to convince herself that she wasn't crushing on Katya.

Katya. The girl with the gorgeous blue eyes and tender touch and voice dripping in honey. The girl who everyone blames for her ex-girlfriend's suicide. Trixie couldn't even imagine what she would do if something like that happened to her. What would her parents think? What would her friends think? What would she think? She didn't know the answer to any of those questions. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

"I'm trying to ask if you wanted to hang out a lot," Trixie said. "We could have sleepovers, ya know?"

Katya grinned. "At my house, or yours?"

"Both, I guess," she said, which was true. She wanted to be at home and spend some time alone with Katya, but she also wanted to take a step into Katya's life and spend the night in her home. She wanted to feel like she was apart of a normal, loving family. Even if it was just for a night.

After a few hours of chit chat on the river, Katya suggested the two of them go see a movie. It was a new release about a girl finding love.

As the movie drew to a close, and the girl had her hand on her crush's cheek admiring him, Trixie felt herself ready to explode. She had been holding Katya's hand for the entirety of the movie; there was a certain innocence to it all. Trixie had held plenty of boy's hands before, but something about holding a girl's hand- Katya's hand- made her heart flutter in a way it hadn't before.

The theater of watching two actors fall in love on a screen was a lot to take in. Their story mimicked the one Katya and Trixie were living in a few ways: denying feelings, meeting somewhere unexpected, living a lie. Trixie had initially just wanted to use Katya to live some sick fantasy, but she had only ever done that with boys. Working with Katya proved to be much more emotionally engaging.

Katya didn't want just sex- she didn't want sex at all, really. That was in the back of her mind. She wanted to love Trixie and to go on cute dates and to hold hands in public and, most importantly, move on. She wanted to escape Dela and the legacy she set forth for Katya. She wanted to escape the demons in her head that constantly reminded her of her past faults. She wanted her anxiety to subside and to be able to live like a normal teenager. She wanted to go to school. But, in that moment, all she wanted was Trixie.

"Hey, Kat?" Trixie was whispering even though there were only a few other people in the theater.

Katya looked over at her crush, blue eyes reflecting the pictures on the screen.

And then Trixie couldn't hold back anymore. She quickly lifted her hand to Katya's cheek and pressed her lips against Katya's. Her lips were luscious and warm, smooth and cherry-flavored. Trixie held her face against Katya's face for a moment as she felt the girl relax into the kiss.

Katya was filled with a different type of anxiety as Trixie kissed her. It was less of an anxiety and more of an uncertainty, which was a welcomed departure from the normal obsessive thoughts of worry. She wasn't sure if she was kissing her correctly or why Trixie was kissing her in the first place. She wasn't sure if Trixie was straight anymore. She wasn't sure of a lot of things, but she was sure that she never wanted that moment to end.

When Trixie pulled away from the kiss, the girls held eye contact for a moment and smiled wildly. They laughed breathy laughs for just a moment before being shushed by someone else in the theater. Katya rested her head on Trixie's shoulder, content to be used by Trixie in some part of game, unsure if Trixie was still playing it.

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a/n: sorry this took forever to get out, i was really struggling with where to go next- but i think i figured it out :)