the well- trixya

twelve

Katya couldn't make it to the hospital the next day. She had therapy that morning and then had to do paperwork with her mother in order to start the process of getting Katya enrolled in school. The day was a bit of a drag, honestly. All she wanted to do was see Trixie. She texted her, though, and they FaceTimed despite Trixie's clear lack of energy.

She went to bed the next night slightly sad that she didn't get to see Trixie, but content with knowing she still got to talk to her.

"Yekaterina," Katya's mother said, knocking on Katya's door. She rolled over on her bed and examined the clock. It was seven fifty-five. She had five minutes until her alarm went off.

"Oui?" She asked, sleepily slipping into French.

"Désolé de te revéiller," she said, smiling. "Michelle wants to meet with you today at the hospital."

"Pourquoi?"

"Because she wants to meet with you, that's all." Katya gave her mother a suspicious look. "We've been emailing back and forth. She's worried sick about you," her mother said.

"Quand?"

"Right before you go see Trixie. We're leaving at eight forty-five," her mother said, standing in the doorframe. "Breakfast is downstairs."

"Merci," Katya mumbled, rolling back into the warmth of her bed.

"Oh, and one more thing," her mother said. "If you're going to be speaking another language this early, make it Russian. Eto zamechatel'nyy yazyk."

"Not as wonderful as French!" Katya called at her mother, sitting up and ready to begin her day.

-

As Katya pushed open the door to Michelle's office, she was surprised by how colorful it was. There was a big red couch and a deep blue armchair. There were splashes of color everywhere. Cohesively appalling. Katya loved it.

"It's been too long, Katya," Michelle said. She was seated in an orange armchair across from the couch. "We missed you and Trixie at group last week."

"Yeah," Katya said. She admittedly hadn't thought much about it since she'd been in the hospital, and for that she felt a hint of guilt.

"How have you been doing? I can only imagine how difficult all of this must be for you."

Katya hadn't been thinking of herself too much recently. She had been thinking of Trixie and when she was going to get better. "I've been alright," she said. "Stressed. Anxious. But I think that's all to be expected in situations like this."

"It is, sure. But have you been taking care of yourself?"

"No," Katya blurted. "But it's not about me. It's about Trixie."

Michelle frowned. "It's about both of you. You were in the same accident she was. Surely it's taken a toll on you."

"We were in the same accident, but I'm sitting here talking to you while Trixie's laying in a hospital bed barely able to move." Katya's blood was growing hotter under her skin. Her stomach was beginning to bubble with the all-too-familiar surges of anxiety she had experienced a welcome departure from. "I don't get to feel bad," she said, her harsh persona faltering for a moment.

"You've seen her every day, right?" Michelle's voice remained calm, probably sensing Katya's growing anxiety.

She had began scratching the back of her hand as a tick. "Yes. Except yesterday. I couldn't make it."

"How does that makes you feel?"

Katya's eyes were beginning to feel heavy with tears as her vision began to blur. "We FaceTimed yesterday and texted a lot. I missed her, but we talked. I felt bad I couldn't be with her."

Michelle looked at Katya with pulling eyes, trying to unravel more of a story from her, but softened her gaze when she noticed the tell-tale signs of anxiety. "Are you glad I matched the two of you?"

Katya didn't speak as tears began to slide down her blushing cheeks. Even if she had tried to, her voice was caught in her throat as if something was holding her thoughts down, keeping them in the darkness.

"I'm glad I did. I saw your pictures- they needed to be submitted by your therapists- and you were such opposites. I thought you would be a perfect example of opposites attracting," Michelle said, her voice soft. She passed a box of tissues over to Katya, who was bursting open at the seams. "What are you thinking about, Kat?"

Katya took a deep breath, trying to settle the earthquake in her mind. Trying to hold back the tsunami of tears and the hurricane of anxiety. "I'm so happy with her," she sobbed. "We're gonna go to the beach once she's better. And have sleepovers, since her parents are going away. And we're gonna take pictures and see movies and do all sorts of couple stuff," she said, though most of it was hard to understand through her crying.

Michelle nodded her head, long having learned how to decipher words through broken sobs. She waited before responding, wanting to allow Katya a moment to collect herself. "That all sounds very lovely," she said.

"She just has to get better first and get out of here," Katya replied. "She should be home soon."

They two of them talked for a while longer. They talked about school and friends and fears. The conversation veered away form Trixie and onto Katya, which was both relieving and frightening.

Once an hour had passed, and Katya had run out of things to say, Michelle pinched the conversation to a close.

"Thank you for talking with me today, Katya. I've been worried about you."

"It's my pleasure, it was really nice to just talk."

"If you ever need anything at all, don't hesitate to contact me. Your mother has my number, just ask for it if you ever want to get in touch."

"Thank you very much," Katya said, a genuine smile spread across her face.

"Now go see your girl," Michelle said.

Katya left the office feeling rejuvenated. She patted herself on the back for not letting her anxiety take control. Michelle's office was about halfway across the hospital from Trixie's room, so that left Katya with some time to reflect. She thought about the plans she and Trixie had discussed yesterday, about sleepovers and what to do for the rest of the summer. Trixie helped Katya pick out some classes for her senior year so they could be together. The future was mapped out for perfection, and Katya couldn't wait to spend the rest of the summer with Trixie.

As soon as she pushed open the doors to the ward Trixie was in, she heard the all-too-familiar sounds of panic. Screaming machines, worried voices of nurses and doctors, unorthodox chaos. Katya quickened her pace.

As she grew closer to Trixie's room, the noises only got louder. Her pace quickened further. She broke into a sprint, only to arrive at Trixie's door. The room was filled with nurses and doctors. The heart rate monitor showed a flat, green line as it screamed a piercing, continuous beep. Katya could barely see Trixie as she was complete surrounded by doctors and nurses and other machinery.

Brooke Lynn, the nurse Trixie had gushed to Katya about, looked in her direction and quickly walked over to the door.

"Katya," she said. She spoke quickly and powerfully. She opened her mouth to speak, but her jaw remained slack as silence was the only noise that passed her lips.

In a sudden, swift movement she pushed Katya backward and pulled she door shut behind her. It was just her and Katya in the hallway, large windows showcasing what was happening on the other side of the glass. It looked like a Renaissance painting.

"Trixie.." Katya said, her voice shattered as tears began streaming down her face.

Brooke Lynn, too, had a tear on her cheek as she pulled Katya into a tight embrace that seemed to last a lifetime. The glass wasn't soundproof, and the hug wasn't perfect, but it was as sheltered as Katya could be from what was happening in the other room. She could feel Brooke Lynn's heart pounding.

Katya began to sob in her arms, and it was there that time froze, capturing a perfectly still image of complete chaos and simultaneous comfort.