I drive in my rental car to my brother and his roommates' flat in my rental car, tapping my fingers nervously on the steering wheel. I don't know why I'm so nervous; I'm normally never like this around my brother or any of his friends. Well, that is, except for Ashton. That explains it. Ever since I was thirteen and realized I had major feelings for one of my brother's friends, who was, by the way, three years older than me, I've never acted the same around him. I doubt he's noticed, he's never acted differently around me, confirming that he doesn't and will never have even the slightest romantic feeling for me. I sigh aloud, forgetting how sad this topic makes me. It's just hard when you're in love with someone who will only ever know you as his friends annoying little sister, making me practically invisible in his eyes. I've tried to get over him so many times, with pointless hookups at college parties that just made this aching in my chest worse. I guess some wounds heal best with time, but I've been waiting for five years. I'm tired of needing him, and knowing the whole time that I'm aching so deeply that he'll never know how I feel. I suddenly realize that tears have pooled in my eyes, hurrying to wipe them away as I pull into the driveway.
I see that Luke's old blue car is in the driveway, so I know for sure that they're home. I sneak around the front to the side door, finding it unlocked and quietly opening it. As soon as I step foot into the threshold, my ears are assaulted with the sound of laughter, and I immediately pick out Ashton's adorable laugh that's a mix of a giggle and a chuckle. My stomach does flip flops at the sound of it, and I want nothing more than for him to laugh like that at my jokes. I shake my head, refusing to let thoughts of Ashton creep in. I came here with one mission only, to scare them like they've never been scared before.
I drop down to the floor, army crawling behind the couch they're sitting on, hoping they didn't catch a glimpse of me. I listen closer, and realize that there must be about seven people crowded on the couch, all laughing at some movie. My heart drops when I hear an unmistakably female giggle ring through the room, wondering if Ashton has a girlfriend. I push those thoughts of jealously out of my head, reminding myself that I have no right to be jealous of him since we've never been in a relationship. Slowly I creep up the side of the couch, planning to jump over and land on them. I don't care if there are people I haven't met that I'm launching myself on to; I just want to make Michael pee his pants from fright. I reach the top of the couch, flinging myself over the edge while yelling, "Surprise!"
I hear everyone scream, and start giggling uncontrollably, my body shaking with laughter. I look up to see whose lap my head is currently resting on, and see none other than Ashton's beautiful hazel eyes. "Hi" I whisper, the laughter suddenly gone, replaced with my pounding heart. He just stares at me, lost for words, and I find myself staring at his soft red lips, suddenly resisting the urge to reach up and pull his head closer, finally getting the kiss from him I've been dreaming of. My daydream is interrupted by Michael slapping my legs, a wide grin plastered across his face.
"Alex! How did you get here? I thought you were across the country? What is happening?" I just smile, quickly launching into my explanation, addressing the whole group.
"I'm on summer break, so I decided to come over here and visit you guys since the tickets are cheaper than the ones back to Australia." Michael nods, still grinning, and I suddenly notice three girls sitting on the couch, listening to me with awestruck expression. "Who are these people?" I say, gesturing to them, and suddenly the one with honey colored hair starts blushing, averting her eyes. I laugh a little to myself. People who blush easily are my favorite. Michael clears his throat, starting to speak.
"These are some friends of ours that we met. This is Cas, he says, pointing to the brown eyed brunette." He has an expression on his face I've only seen a few times, his completely lovesick expression. Interesting. "This is Jemma," he says gesturing to the honey haired girl with green eyes, the one who blushes.
"Ah, yes, Ms. Rosy Cheeks."
"Hey!" Luke says, rubbing the girls back. "You're perfect, don't worry." He says, thinking I can't hear him. Great. Everyone's found love.
"And this is Rose." Michael says, pointing to the girl with black hair and dark brown eyes. My heart drops to my stomach, dreading this is the girl that Ashton has become smitten with. Snap out of it Alex, you and Ashton's relationship is purely one sided. I give a weak smile.
"Hi. I'm Alex, as I'm sure all of you know by now." They all laugh, and I feel sick when I notice Ashton smiling at the girl with black hair. I suddenly feel tears pooling in my eyes. "Well, I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me for one second." I say, hating how you can tell from my voice that I'm on the verge of tears.
I run out of the room, the tears hanging like boulders on my eyelids, threatening to drop and roll down my cheeks at any second. I quickly find a bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me and sinking to the floor. My voice betrays me as a sob escapes from my lips, and suddenly my body is shaking uncontrollably, moving with the torrent of my sobs. I hear a soft knock on the door. "Go away. I'm fine." I say, still sobbing, knowing that only a fool would believe me.
"I'm afraid I can't do that. " I hear a soft voice say. It's Ashton. I slowly pull myself up, opening the door. As soon as my face comes in to view, Ashton doesn't hesitate to snake his hand through the door, grabbing my wrist and pulling me out.
I utter feeble words of protest and try to shake myself free, but he has those strong drummer arms that make my knees go weak every time they flex. He pulls me outside and over to a bench in the shade of a tree, forcing me to sit down with him.
I look away from him, refusing to let him see me cry as small sobs escape me. "Why did you come to get me? Don't you understand I want to be alone?" He's silent for a moment, pondering what to say. I'm shocked as I feel a hand under my chin, lifting my face up so my eyes meet his. He slowly wipes away my tears with the pad of his calloused thumb. He hesitates for a moment, and then opens his mouth, taking a deep breath.
"Because I couldn't stand to see someone as beautiful as you cry." I look at him, shocked, searching his eyes for a hint of a lie. Suddenly anger overcomes me.
"Damnit Ashton! Can't you see that this isn't some game?"
"What?" He says, confusion spreading over his face.
"You can't just play with my feelings, making me think you have some for me when you clearly don't! I'm not just some girl you can pretend to like and then dump just to get a good laugh!"
"I-I... What?" He says, stuttering, but I cut him off before he can say anything more.
"Ashton, don't you see?" I say, my voice suddenly softer, filled with emotion rather than anger.
"What?" He asks. "What could I possibly not see?" He asks.
"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I've been completely, inevitably, deeply in love with you for the past five years, and you will never love me back." He looks shocked, and I quickly cover my mouth, realizing what I just said. I quickly turn around and run away, sitting behind a tree and sobbing once I can't run any longer.
After a few minutes of my sobs being the only noise filling the air, I hear soft footsteps. "Ashton, go away. Forget everything I said." I choke out between sobs. I feel a soft hand on my arm, pulling me up. I keep my hands in front of my face, but soon Ashton pries those away too. I look at my feet, tears dripping in a steady stream down my face. A warm hand cups my chin and raises my face, forcing my eyes to meet his. I shut them, another sob escaping, and I realize that this must be what heartbreak feels like. I bring my eyes up to meet Ashton's and suddenly I feel a soft pair of warm lips on mine. I lose myself in the kiss, it feeling like nothing I've ever felt before. The warm lips break away, leaving me with a ghost of their embrace still lingering on my lips. I look up at Ashton, shocked.
"Alexandra Marie Clifford, I have been completely, undeniably, head over heels in love with you for the past five years. Trust me when I say, there is a 100% chance of me loving you back."
YOU ARE READING
Dreams //5SOS//
RomanceJemma, Cas, and Rose have always had big dreams- to move out of their parents flats in London and move in together as roommates in sunny California. When they finally arrive, there's more surprises than they could ever dream of.
