Intoxicated (Stardew Valley)

Chapter Nine

21th of Summer, 6:21 AM

Yoba, I can't believe I'm doing this but I am...

Harvey said that writng down my thoughts would help as part of his "counselling". It was better than talking to the chickens about my feelings. They'd just cluck and beg for food anyway.

I don't know what to say, but somehow writing it down helps me...

Everyday it felt like I was drowning and that I was constantly trying to keep my head above the water.

But recently, Pelican Town has helped me in more ways than I could imagine... I met a lot of new people and they treat me as if I'm family.

And Shane... he was such a pain, but I know he's warming up to me and I want to help him, I just don't know how.

Yesterday, I saw him by the cliffs.... He was intoxicated and weak. He was broken. He was lost, just as I was.

He always says how I'm too good for him and that I should just leave him be, but frankly, if he knew the truth, he'd be leaving me.

I'm a coward for not giving that employee money for his pregnant girlfriend and unborn child. I'm the reason for their deaths. Working at Joja took a lot out of me and its standing here in town is just a constant reminder of my mistakes coming back to me.

I hope no one finds out. They'd hate me. Especially Shane.

⋆

I stared at the last sentence and gently closed the notebook. It was an empty old book that I had found in Grandpa's chest and I decided to document the thoughts that continued to torment me.

A sigh escaped my lips. I longed to tell people the true reason as to why I came here—and not just to claim my inheritence of the farm—but I wasn't strong enough just yet. And so I had resorted to writing down my feelings. Oddly, it worked.

One day when I knew I would be ready, I would tell Emily and Shane everything and finally escape the weights of my past.

I hid the notebook in a secluded corner of my room and once I was satisfied with its spot, I grabbed my tools. I knew no one would be lurking at the ranch, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once I opened the front door, I gasped and nearly dropped my watering can. The person opposite of me was also shocked and lowered the fist he was about to knock the door with.

"Shane," I acknowledged as I took in his appearance. There were dark circles under his heavy eyes and his lack of sleep was evident. The rain from the previous night was still raging, but Shane didn't seem to care.

"Hey," he said back, averting his eyes to anywhere but my face.

"Do you want to come inside? You're soaked." I grabbed his arm to haul him inside, but he stayed put and shook his head.

"Oh man... Uh... How do I say this?" he said nervously as he scratched the back of his head. I looked at him with curiousity. I knew he was going to talk about last night's events.

"I'm really sorry about what happened at the cliffs. That was embarrassing," he mumbled quickly, but I caught on.

"Embarrassing?" I asked with a raise of my eyebrow. "Shane, you opened your feelings toward me. Yes, you were vulnerable and weak, but I hardly call that embarrassing."

He nodded grimly and stared down at his feet.

Without thinking, I reached out and gently raised his chin so his eyes faced mine and not the floor. Shane seemed surprised at my touch, but didn't move away. I was surprised with what I did.