Father: A Sanders Sides Story

Memories and Hopes

"Logan!" Virgil continued knocking on the thick door of his brother's room. He hadn't seen Logan in almost two days now and he missed his brother. Dad wouldn't talk to him either, and he was starting to feel empty, as if there was a void inside his chest. "Open! Open the door!"

Today had been terrible. He had woken up quite late after dreaming about his mother. He missed his mom, and all he wanted was for her to hug him and tell him that it was going to be okay. After that, he had walked into his parents' room where his dad had sat on the bed alone, staring at a picture that he held in his hands. He knew his dad was sad, too, just like he was. His eyes finally met his dad's after a few minutes of standing by the door in silence.

"Go, Virgil. I'll come out later." His dad walked over to the door and shut it with a small click.

Little Virgil could only sigh in defeat and walked into the small dining room. The room was barren, with no food on the table. There was no one to cook without mom here. When he caught a glimpse of their family photo, Virgil took the picture and sat on the floor cradling the thinly framed photographed in his hands. He could feel his eyes getting hotter and hotter as the seconds pass by. And finally, a drip. And another. Oh look, another one. The tears came in a steady flow as he suffered silently. Alone.

Why his mom had to go, Virgil didn't understand. Mom was supposed to watch him graduate elementary school later this year. Mom was supposed to be there and hug him while Dad would laugh and make a stupid joke. His brother would be there, giving him a firm pat on the back and laughed with him at dad's jokes. They were supposed to go to a fancy restaurant after the ceremony and mom would tell him how proud she is of him. Virgil was going to be a great student in middle school, and he was going to make his mom proud all over again. Dad would make him join in on his pranks in the house, and mom was supposed to be there to scold them. None of that will ever happen.

Why did mom have to go? It's not fair his friends can still have their moms when he couldn't have his.

Why did mom have to go? A simmer of anger crackled to life in his chest.

Why did mom have to go?

He stood up and put the frame back on the table, his fingers lingering on his mother's sweet, smiling face for a second. He wiped his tears off carelessly and went out to the garden. Sometimes, dad would be outside, tending to the rose bushes that he planted only because he knew mom loved roses. Logan would be on the little reading nook under a hemsley snowball tree. Dad made the reading nook last summer; a bench with pillows thrown here and there. Usually, Logan would race outside and grab the pillows before running back into the house when it rained outside.

Virgil laid in the garden for a little while. Or perhaps it was a few hours. He watched the clouds move slowly across the sky, imagining shapes and patterns in the sky. If he looked hard enough, would he find mom looking down on him from heaven among the clouds? He wanted to see her, just one last time. She must be hurting up there. Dad didn't let him and Logan see mom in the hospital before she went away. He missed her.

He turned to look at the rose bush by his side. There was a lady bug on one of the leaves. Its red body covered with black polka dots. On a normal day, Virgil would take the bug carefully to sit on his finger and bring it inside to his brother. He would ask a million question, many of which Logan would have the answer to. Logan is very smart! He knows so many things that even dad sometimes didn't. His favorite thing to do with his brother is sitting in Logan's room by the window with a telescope. Logan would tell him where to look and explain to him what he's seeing. Space is enormous, Virgil realized quickly.

Sitting up, he took the little bug onto his finger. He observed the bug's every little movement, careful not to hurt it. It seemed he had made a new friend.