The Very Secret Affair (Discontinued)

part 5 - a new start?

I had blown it. I knew it. I could taste the atmosphere in the air. Questions kept occuring in my head.

Should I apologize? I thought. Then I quickly convinced myself it wasn't my fault. The occasion guilt lept in too, and played with my emotions. This was my fault! I confessed, as I dropped onto the bed. Then I slapped myself. No it wasn't. I couldn't take this feeling. It was like my emotions were fighting in my head.

Tears no longer dropped down my face. It's like they had disappeared and been replaced with anger and the occasional guilt, that I tried to push out.

I stood up still on the bed, just incase my social worker came back. I could be ready. But then after a couple of minutes, I decided she wasn't going to come back, and that she was scared. Instead, I floated back into my laying position as I thought. Then, a brilliant idea striked me, and I ran out of the door faster then you could say dissaster!

As I ran downstairs, I tripped and banged my head. I can't remember what happened after. It's like I had completly blacked out. The stairs had point sharp bits at the end of them. I had cut myself on one of those, and blood gushed out. I got up, but it was too blurry, and everything came up as double, and I wasn't doing it on purpose. I layed myself back down again.

"what's all the noise?!" Maria, a social worker (not my personal one though) came out saying.

Maria was a tramp In my eyes. She had a dead tooth that I really wanted to pull out. She had deep rinkles in her forehead, and somehow there were little hairs sprouting out. Her eyebrows were so bushy, she looked like she had stuck squirrels on them. I wondered whenever I saw her, Hasn't she heard of a shaver, or wax, or facial? But that's only the start to her. Her breathe! Oh my gosh her breathe! If she breathed on you, it was like a punch, kick and slap to the face. Her breathe was a mixture of garlic, rotten eggs and morning breathe. Everytime I talked to her, or even looked at her I gagged. Her clothes scence wasn't amazing either. It was like she picked her clothes put from a charity shop blind-folded. Her hair was like a piece of string. A price of grey, wavy string. She had them little round glasses on too, adding on to her little joke self. I always tried to avoid eye contact with her. Her smell was indescribable! I mean, it was like she had done a poo and she didn't wipe herself properly, and it's been there for months. I questioned if she was even bothered to atleast shower in the morning.

I didn't want her anywhere near me. But unfortunatly for me, she was the only one that was there. I was also unconious too, so I couldn't push her away

***********

I woke up in hospital with my mum and sister next to me. I smiled. Then I saw maria and I frowned. Was she even wanted there though?

My vision had been pieced together again, I noticed as I opened my eyes in my own time. Mum stroked my hair as she saw me and my sister smiled.

"we were so worried about you, honey." mum said, as she got up and kissed my forehead.

"err, I don't think physical contact is neccasary." maria pointed out.

"why are you here again?" mum asked, as she gave maria an unwanted look.

"I'm her social worker, I have to be here." she said. I could smell her breathe from the bed. I coughed. Mum quickly reacted to my cough, plumping my pillow viciously.

"ok, well I'm here now so you can leave."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. Your not her legal guardian." maria said, almost smug.

"I'm still her mum. Whether it's written on papers or not!" mum said, in an angry whisper.

"well it's not written on paper, so I'm sorry." maria added.

I just layed there.

"you little!-" mum yelled, I quickly interupted because I knew what was coming.

"mum & maria! Listen I have a really bad headache so can we save this for later?" I asked. They both nodded, ashamed.

"although I do have to add one thing. I don't like these stupid foster parents, there doing my head in! If you get me fostered, I promise you, I will refuse to go." I stated.

"me and the other careworkers were talking about that. I was going to deliver to news to you, but since you had this terrible fall, I was going to tell you when you was better."

"I am better!" I eagerly said, wanting to hear the news.

"I know. But is this the right place to talk about it?"

my mum stepped in.

"is it cause I'm here? I Want to know what goes on with my daughter as much as you do. So go on, spit it out."

a very good-looking doctor open the curtains. I didn't mind him checking my out!

"hi. Is everyone alright?" he said. Mum pushed up her bra and said, "yes mr. Doctor."

we all laughed, even maria.

"ok well I'm just here to check.." he looked on his clipboard, " mia's head."

he pressed a stethascope onto my head.

"well there's no bleeding in the brain. You haven't fractured anything, you'll be good to go by tonight."

everyone chourused, "thank you."

a couple of moments past, then mum rememberd she was half way through an argument.

"so, you going to tell us? Or are we going to have to beg? Haha!" she giggled.

"oh dear." maria replied. "yes, yes. I will inform you of what's going on." she said.

"well are you going to spit it out?!" mum asked.

One thing you should notice by now, is that my sister hates arguments and bad situations. Because whenver there's one, she just sits there, silently.

"so, I need to get this re-checked. However, we have agreed that having too many foster parents is emotionally scaring for you. So we've decided that until you can prove you're a good girl, you have to stay with us at Gee's Unit. After you've shown yourself, only then will you be able to go and live with your mum. That could take a couple of months." she explained.

From then on, I decided my strive to a normal life was back on. And I was going to be on my best behaviour. For me, and my family