It Begins and Ends With Pizza

Chapter Two

Kalliopi

Wish I Knew You - The Revivalist

If only I... was... two...inches... longer... I stretched as far as I could for The Daily Telegraph while still propping the door of the apartment open with my toe. Our Airbnb was so nice. We spared no expense on this bucket list best friend trip to London. The biggest downfall was the combination of a door that automatically locks from the outside and the paper delivery man leaving the paper just out of reach from the doorway.
My favorite cactus pajama shorts are inadequate for the October chill. I had to add these hideous thigh-high socks that I crocheted myself. I just woke up and had only brushed my teeth and washed my face which is a roundabout way of saying I was still a sleepy mess. I haven't even had my coffee yet, although it is brewing. Maddie is still passed out, trying to regulate the jet lag that hasn't quite tapered off yet. So here I am trying to get the damn paper by myself.

Yesterday, this seemed like such a treat, a beautiful London apartment with all the olden day charm and luxury amenities you could ever dream of. Today, it seems like the perfect recipe for me to embarrass myself. And in a split second, I lose my balance. My foot that is holding the door open, fell forward, and click... the door shuts and locks, with me in the hall. Shit.
My efforts to get the morning started without waking Maddie has backfired. I try knocking lightly on the door. "Maddieeee," I call as softly and as reasonably possible. Oh sweet baby Jesus, do not let anyone see me like this. Please. I knock a bit harder, and call a bit louder and a neighbor's dog starts barking. Shiiiiiit. Please let her wake up before anyone in this building sees me. Surely, she will hear the knock on our door before everyone else does.

Five minutes, at least, has passed with me stuck in the hall. The sounds of life, people and breakfast spill out from the neighboring apartments, reminding me that humiliation is eminent. I'm totally helpless. I'm a helpless mess. In desperation I bend down to the floor and try to talk under the door in hopes that Maddie will hear. "I swear to God, Maddie. Wake up and open this door."

I can hear friendly conversation approaching from inside the apartment across the hall, and I rush to stand. The last thing I need is to make this even worse by being discovered on the floor with my big ass in the air. The door across the hall opens. Clinging to any sliver of dignity I have left, I shield my face with my hair.

"Maddie! MADDIEEEE!" I've given up on being quiet. If people are getting the treat of seeing me locked out of this apartment in all my morning glory then we've already reached the peak of this nightmare.

"Kalliopi?" I freeze.

Oh please God, no. Slowly I turn to face the man that I am in no state to see at the moment. "Ummm..." I let out an awkward laugh and point at the door "I'm locked out".

He gives a little chuckle. "Can I call someone for you?"

"YES!" I blurt a little too loudly. Why didn't I think of that? Duh. I still avoid eye contact while giving him Maddie's phone number. The call went to voicemail. I'm gonna kill her. Not really, this wasn't Maddie's fault. But, oh my god, I am so gonna kill her.

"Lemme try once more" he said as he re-tried the call. "I like your socks." "Thanks! I made them myself!" I, again, spoke a little too loud. SHUT UP! Do not have a conversation with Phil right now.

Oh, thank god, I hear Maddie's drowsy voice on the other end of the phone and so I turn back to the door.

"Yes, hello, Maddie? It seems that Kalliopi has been locked out of your apartment," Phil says.

I hear her, shuffling around inside, making her way to the door to rescue me. "Thanks." I stare towards the door, still refusing to make eye contact with him.
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