Girls with Pride

Chapter Three

In hindsight I probably shouldn't have done it; the opportunity was right there, so who was I to ignore it?

Fate, destiny you could call it, it was written in the stars! Back track; basically, saharah was this anonymous app to ask questions.

So naturally, it was used to slag people off, and tell people they were 'fit'.

Or in my case; relieve the stress of being a closeted teen with crippling general and social anxiety. So, all I did was go on (everyone's) saharah and simply wrote,

'I'M PAN PEEPS'

On around 7 peoples feeds, (everyone, of course) great idea, right? Wrong!

Realistically, no one was going to know, but as I tried to tell my over analytical brain that, I got a Snapchat notification.

That was the final straw for my abrasively overthinking brain- I went into full panic attack mode.

Like a man out of a marathon, my breathing became irregular, heart palpations began, and the snakes in the pit of my stomach became starved, writhing beasts, who seemed to thrive from my worry. Charming.

Then was when the shaking began, starting from my feet and ending up right to my head, causing my head to jerk to and fro.

Icy tendrils of pure fear gripped my heart, the helplessness immobilised me and the snakes moved from my stomach into my very chest, throwing themselves against my ribs a though they wanted to escape.

Taking a shaky breath through the thick, honey like air and glanced at my reflection in my mirror.

I was as white as a sheet fresh out of the laundry.

Swallowing dryly, I moved to sit down on my bed and took huge sobbing breaths to try to calm myself down and eventually just lay down and put my hands over my face.

After around 15 minutes the shaking had mostly stopped, and the snakes had retreated, so I sat up and grabbed my phone, opening the notification before I could convince myself otherwise.

Streaks.

It was goddamn streaks.

That entire panic attack was over literally nothing.

This was what I hated about overthinking; you would have huge, horrible attacks over nothing.

Underneath all my #cool vibe, I was #dying and I had no-one to talk to about it without outing myself.

Exhaustion passed over my body as I sighed and decided to check people's stories, just in case someone had put it on there.

Well, obviously everyone did, and were asking who it was, to say I was relieved was one hell of an understatement. No one knew as of yet, which was awesome (Yes Paige, people do say that!) and meant I could go to sleep, which was great, because it was 12:30!

Twelve thirty in the morning- I was normally asleep for 9:30!

Oh, shut up, reader judging my sleeping patterns.I like sleep, okay?Is that okay with you?

Good.

I woke up the next morning and had completely forgotten of previous night's antics. As I was getting breakfast I froze.

'Sugar Butties.' I whispered, leaning my head against the wall in realisation.

Obviously, no one was going to know, so looking back on it, I've realised how stupid I was to worry... at that point anyway.

(Oooo dramatic foreshadowing, cool, aren't I?)

I swallowed harshly to get rid of the bile slowly creeping up my throat and exhaled heavily, rolling my shoulders to relieve any tension.