Daughter of a Dixon ✔️

88: Everything

I arrived at Hilltop the next morning, and immediately went to seek out Maggie. I didn't care if she still thought I was dead and would be furious with me when she found out I wasn't; I just needed to talk to someone who would listen.

I asked one of the guards where she was, and he informed me that she was in the first mobile unit on the left from the mansion. I forgot to thank him I was in such a rush.

I raced over to the unit and knocked four times on the door, praying it would be Maggie who answered. My heart was hammering in my chest at the fear of being faced with another angry face.

A moment later, the door was thrown open, and I was met with the shocked, hazel eyes of Maggie Rhee. I held eye contact with her, silently waiting for her to yell, slam the door in my face, or something along those lines. That was what I deserved.

Instead, she wasted no time in throwing her arms around me, and holding me in one of the tightest embraces I had ever received.

As soon as she took me in her arms, mine were wrapped securely around her thin frame, and my head was nestled into her shoulder. Something told me Maggie sensed that I had been through something really rough, because the first words she said to me while we were hugging was, "you're okay, you're okay."

Her kind words, combined with the comfort of her embrace that I desperately needed, soon brought me to tears, and I was fighting to keep myself together. As soon as she heard me begin to cry, Maggie shifted into mother-mode, and maneuvered me into the mobile unit.

She guided me to a couch positioned against the far wall, wrapping a caring arm around my shoulders as soon as we sat down. "Just talk to me when you're ready, okay?" she told me, rubbing circles into my shoulder with her hand.

I nodded, gasping as I tried to control my harsh cries.

It took awhile, but eventually, I was ready, and I talked to Maggie. I told her everything.

I told her everything.

"I told him it was his fault, Maggie... I told him everything was his fault, and then I left. I couldn't handle it anymore... now, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do.."

I didn't look up to Maggie after I finished informing her on everything that had happened; I was too ashamed. She was the only person I had told everything to. I even confided in her the truth of what had happened at the Sanctuary, even though I promised myself I wouldn't tell anyone. I had broken my own promise, because the burden was too heavy for me to bear alone. I needed someone, anyone, to be there for me.

"Sidney," Maggie began slowly, disbelief overflowing in her voice. "What that guy at the Sanctuary did to you... that's not okay, sweetheart. Why didn't you tell anybody?"

I still couldn't look at her as I shook my head, fighting back more tears in my eyes. "Because I didn't want their pity... and I didn't want my dad to hate himself more than he already does... I'd rather have him hate me than hate himself, but it's so hard, Maggie... It's like he doesn't care about me at all..."

"Oh, honey," Maggie said empathetically, pulling my head gently onto her shoulder. "He doesn't hate you, and he does care about you. He's just really hurt, he feels betrayed, and he doesn't know how to handle all those things. It's no excuse, but I think that he was so upset when he found out you were just pretending to be gone, that he forgot that you went through Hell, too."

I sniffled, bringing up a hand to wipe at my eyes, and shook my head despondently. "He didn't forget... he doesn't think I went through anything. He thinks I should've stayed at the Sanctuary, took the torture like he did, and just waited for him to get me out... But, I couldn't do it, Maggie, that's what he can't understand. I took it, everyday, for a week... but then I just couldn't anymore."

Maggie let out a quiet breath, and turned to face me, pressing her index finger beneath my chin and lifting my head up. She forced me to look into those beautiful hazel eyes of hers, ones that were always filled with determination and care.

"That's why he needs to know, Sidney," she spoke softly, and my heart wrenched in my chest. "It is not your fault that you couldn't take what they did. It was a horrific act that no one is supposed to have to go through, especially not someone your age. I know you think you're protecting Daryl by not telling him, but you're really just hurting your relationship with him. And, I know, he wants everything to be okay again just as much as you do, if not more."

I sat still for a moment, taking in Maggie's words of wisdom. I knew she was right, completely right, but it still made me sick to even think about telling my dad what happened at the Sanctuary. He would never forgive himself for everything he had said, but, if I was being honest, I wouldn't ever forgive myself for the things I said to him, either.

"If he finds out... it'll kill him, Maggie," I told her, getting choked up once again.

Her eyes softened, and she laid her free hand on top of my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "And if he doesn't, it's gonna kill you. Sometimes you have to do things for yourself, Sidney, even if it means hurting people you love."

My shoulders slumped, and a shallow breath escaped me as I gave her a curt nod. Once again, Maggie was absolutely right. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I knew she was.

"Does it have to be me?" I whimpered, looking up to her with tear-filled, blue eyes. I didn't have to elaborate any further; she knew what I was meaning.

She sighed, and shook her head. "No, honey, it doesn't... I can tell him, if you want me to."

I immediately nodded, rubbing my nose and drawing in a breath. "I kinda think that'd be best..."

Maggie gave me a soft simper, and brought my head closer to her, planting a soft kiss atop my forehead. "Yeah, I do, too, hun."

Immediately after she uttered that statement, the door to the mobile unit was thrown open, and Jesus flew into the room. "Hey, Maggie, uh, Daryl's here," he said, and noticed me soon after. He grew a confused expression, his eyes going slightly wide.

"It's a long story," Maggie told Jesus, covering for me. "She escaped the Sanctuary, and just needed to lay low for a bit, and make sure no one would come looking for her."

Jesus seemed to notice the tear-tracks staining my face, and softened up considerably. "Oh... alright, uh... are you okay, Sidney?" he asked, stepping over closer to the couch.

"Uh... I'm gonna be," I answered honestly, nodding my head and giving the man a quick smile.

He returned the gesture half-heartedly, and shyly motioned for me to stand up. I obliged, somewhat confused, and highly surprised when Jesus immediately took me in an embrace.

After a second of shock wore off, I smiled gently, and returned the hug. If I was being honest, I think I needed it, and something told me Jesus knew that.

The news he had brought with him into the mobile unit had put the fear of God in me, because I had no idea what was going to happen next, and I was completely petrified of all the possibilities.