ƈσʅԃ ιɳ LA < dσɾႦყɳ

7

i begin waking the next morning, groaning in annoyance as the light seeps through the thin, white curtains that embroider the window. my mind is hazy for the first few seconds after my eyes reluctantly open, when suddenly all the memories from last night come flooding back, making my breath catch in my throat. i turn quickly, prepared to face a sleeping corbyn, but my heart drops in disappointment when he isn't there. the bed is empty, cold, and a sense of déjà vu overcomes me as i swing my legs over the side of the bed, stuffing my hands roughly into my hair and tugging harshly, letting out a frustrated groan. my eyes begin filling with remorseful tears as i hear the emptiness of the house, overwhelming me as i think back over what happened last night.

it was wrong. so, so wrong. from the start, i knew it was a mistake; even with this thought at the front of my mind, i couldn't help but adore the feeling of his lips pressed against mine and his body moving in synch with mine. i was being greedy and i wanted what i couldn't have.

if it's wrong, why did it have to feel so right? why did his whole body slot perfectly with mine? how could it feel so familiar, so overdue, yet be such patrolled territory, guarded by none other than adam? the key to all my problems.

i groan loudly as i enter my empty living room, nothing seeming right anymore. i grit my teeth as i suddenly kick my foot against the sofa in rage, immediately regretting it when a sharp pain shoots through it, and i crumble down onto the sofa in a big, sad heap, not even seeming human. i look to my side and notice the white, fluffy blanket that corbyn was using merely two days ago, strewn carelessly over the side of the sofa. i quickly wrap it around myself, covering my body until the only part of me you can actually see is my head, poking out from my shoulders. i breathe in deeply, noticing the blanket smells strongly of corbyn's scent, since he's the only one who ever uses it; it's reserved for when he needs comfort, since it just seems to calm him down.

the smell is now so familiar, and so bittersweet; last night, when i smelt him, it felt different. we were so close, so intimate with each other, i didn't think it would be able to be ruined so fast. i just wish i could go back to that moment, before it all fell apart, and reminisce it forever.

i can't help the soft cry that leaves my lips as i bury my face in the blanket; this actually is happening. i've actually lost the love of my life. after getting as close as i physically get to him, my punishment is his total removal.

if i had known i'd lose him, i never would have done it. and even if i had, i wouldn't have ever wanted to wake up.

it started with a good night and then it turned to day.

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