Her trembling body is pressed to mine as I kiss down her soft delicate neck. My hands are holding onto her as is my life depended on her. I just can't let her run away from me.
Her hands are pressed on my chest trying to push me away but I know that she will have to give in sooner or later. I know that she wants this just as much as I do but she tries to fool herself into denying the fact that we need this. We need each other. I want to show her how much I care for her. I know there are many other ways I could do this, but let's just say that we're not good with words.
I just want to be able to kiss away all the pain we've both caused to one another and I want her to know that no matter how many times she pushes me away, I'll always come around.
This relationship has been hell since day one. Well, I don't even know if you can call what we have a relationship because we don't do what cute couples do, we are the complete opposite of that. I wouldn't say we have some sort of friends with benefits shit thing either because friends like that don't actually catch feelings. No one knows about my feelings for her, not even her. I bet our friends have their suspicions, but I guess that I haven't grown a decent pair to confront her about this. I'm scared to death that she will stop whatever we have if she ever finds out, because I really need her.
No matter how many other girls I mess around with, she will always be the one.
"Luke! Stop!" she yells pushing me away completely. As I try to control my hormones and my breath, I look at her.
Her green eyes look tired and lifeless but I still think she is the prettiest girl in the planet.
"I'm sorry I just thou-
"Save it, I don't want to hear another of your lame excuses. We had an agreement; it's time for us to stop whatever we have. Move on, go find someone new for Christ's sake."
"But I don't want to find somebody else, I only want you." I mumble softly enough only for me to hear as she turns around and leaves the room.
I stand there for a long time letting the loud music that's playing downstairs fill my ears. I can't manage to move or even process what just happened. I thought that what she had told me earlier today was some kind of joke, but now I know that's its completely real.
She has never refused my touch until today.
Without thinking I walk out of the bedroom and try to make my way through the crowd of intoxicated people, I bump into some of them but I'm way too disturbed to care. The only thing I can smell is alcohol blended with cigarettes and as I walk closer to the kitchen I can feel the music pounding in my head.
As I'm about to enter the kitchen I spot those vivid green eyes I long to see.
They're no longer tired and lifeless; instead they're shining and reflect happiness. This forms a smile on my face but soon vanishes as I spot some douche place a kiss on her lips. He lifts her up to the counter and stands in-between her legs while they deepen up the kiss.
I can't move. I feel as my heart has been ripped out of my own flesh and burnt down into ashes. My chest aches and I feel my anger start to boil through my veins. Even though I've seen her a bunch of times with someone else, this time it hits me like lightning because I know that she won't come back to me.
I grab the closest bottle of vodka I could find and walk out of the house, going straight to my car and locking myself up.
Once I'm settled for my long night, I turn up my radio into full blast and take a long sip out of the bottle of vodka. Feeling the bitter liquid going down my throat.
I let the music and alcohol take over my senses as I try to forget everything that just happened, and her.
I want to be able to not feel at all.
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It's been about 3 hours since I locked myself inside my car and I'm starting to feel lonely and sad.
I hate her.
I need a fucking explanation from her. She can't just leave me hanging like that.
I let the amount of alcohol in my body act for me and before I even have time to realize what I'm doing I hear the bitter sweet voice I've been craving to hear,
"Luke? What the hell do you want? It's 3 in the morning! Turn the damn music off!"
"You can't leave please. Did I do something please don't. I-I thought you were" I feel my heart ache as my throat starts to form a knot.
I can't even make up the words I want to say to her. I don't get why I get so freaking emotional every time things like these happen.
"What the hell, are you drunk again? "
I nod my head as if he could see me without responding her.
"Luke! Where are you?" She angrily asks.
"In my car outside the party" I lazily smile and lean back on the seat as I try to picture her angry cute little face.
"Don't go anywhere, I'll be there in ten."
I don't respond and throw my phone to the passengers seat. I sit there patiently waiting for her to appear.
All in sudden the passengers side door opens and she gets in. She looks so adorable in that oversized hoodie and her leggings that I just want to cuddle with her all night long.
I just look at her and smile but she doesn't do the same. She just sits there, looking ahead of her instead of at me.
"Why do you do this every time?" She asks looking down at her feet.
"Do what?"
"Get drunk in your car."
"I like to hide from the world, from you." As soon as the words leave my mouth she looks at me.
"Then why the hell did you call me for?" She harshly asks making me shiver.
"I need to know why you want us to end, I thought we were fine."
"Us?! There was never an us Luke, I thought I've made that clear." Her words make my heart ache even more and I think I'm about to have a panic attack.
"Just answer me one thing, do you have feelings for me?" Her eyes go wide and she becomes nervous. She tries to avoid my gaze but fails.
"No. I don't have feelings for you. You're just another boy and you're just a waste of my time."
My whole body is filled with anger because I know that she is lying. I know that she feels something for me. I can feel it every time we're together, why can't she just admit it.
I look up at her and stare right through her eyes trying to make her feel what I feel right now.
"and you're a liar."
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A.N. So there goes the first chapter...
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