Rise of the Sun

I sat here, alone in the middle of a field. The ground was covered in golds, pinks and vibrant greens covering the land like a carpet. The sun high and proud in the baby blue sky. A shadow covering me as I leant against an aging blossom tree. The tree reminded me of cotton candy on a stick. As the wind picked up, the petals of the tree floated past me like a butterfly fluttering in the wind. The light breeze made my hair flow; my hair is darker then the darkest night.

I closed my eyes; my mum always said the reason we close our eyes is because we feel the strongest emotions more clearly like when we kiss, cry or even pray. And that's why I'm here. Everything I love had been ripped away from me. Everything distorted, gone and I will never see them again. My best friend, my lover, my father and my little brother, they're all gone. They were taken away to go fight in the war. The war that is not ours to fight, the one that we have no right to be in.

As I opened my eyes, I saw the golden god in the sky lowering to my level, and the sky almost black. My father always said that my eyes were like the sky when I'm happy, they're baby blue, when I'm mad they're gray, and when they're black I'm broken. I've always been easy to read and I think that will never change.

The sun became lower and lower just like my life dark and nothing to live for. I hate this world, I hate my mother, I hate my life and I hate this. Just everything. The reason I hate her is because she just sits there. She could've stopped them, but she just let them leave. My life has never been good or bad just, normal. A normal life for a normal girl, but then everything just had to change. I thought change was good but this, no one deserves this and I wouldn't even wish this upon my enemy. And that's says a lot on its own.

I hold in my hand a letter from my lover, my first.... and my last. I fell for him when I was attending a trip to Melbourne he joined me on the train. He sat next to me and everything happened from there. We've been together for 3 years. He proposed to me one year ago, we were going to get married next month. My mother says that I should move on, find someone better. But no one is better then him.

So tonight is the night, I decided end my life. To end all the misery, pain, sorrow, hate. To start my life anew. To be happy in this world once more, to see that people I love happy and not broken, and my family not ripped apart by war or greed or money. The time I live in is not for me.

And yes I've had many happy and joyful moments, but that number has nothing on the hate and sadness i've had to deal with in my life. As the sun gets lower and lower and lower so does my spirits, so does my life and the hope of being saved. I read the letter in my hand once more time to see if it was sent to the wrong person, to see if there's another young man with the some name as my lover, bother, farther and friend. But there's no mistake, it's all correct.

On the ground next to me is a black revolver with sliver designs swearing the barrel. l drop the letter and grab the gun with my left hand and pass it to my right. My father gave me this for my sixteenth birthday, I'm now twenty four and have never used it, and never planed to. Not even in this way. I'm not even sure this is the right way to go. Would they even want me to do this? Of couse not, that's a stupid question. I'm stronger then that or am I?

Now the sun had completely disappeared, and the moon had stared to rise behind me. The darker side of the earth has now come to show. With a white beat up circle in the sky just starting climb into the sky. The moon is like the dark side of the sun. The sun brings happy, warmth, and hope, while the moon shows darkness, and very little signs of hope.

I started to re-think about my choice of ending my life. Because life is just like the setting rising of the sun. The sun represents happy and the joyful times in life and the moon represents hate and sadness, and that life always has ups and downs. And because my life has been in the darkness of night for so long I can't wait to be greeted by the sun and the feelings of happiness and joy.