It's complicated : Real, Intimate thoughts of a 22 year old girl

I'm

Im confused
Confused Why you would put me through this
2am phone calls frantically trying to make sure your okay ,
I'm broken
Broken from the suicidal texts that you sent me , the pictures of your life insurance, the time stamp of your life
I'm Scared
scared to hang up the phone
because I'm afraid it will be the last time I ever talk to you
I'm Angry
Angry that no one was there for me as , I cried and begged the doorman to break into your room 1000 miles away to make sure you were alive , to make sure you were breathing
Im breathing
Just Barley
Breathing shallow breaths
Im drowning
Drowning in this storm
I've been trying to catch my breath for 8 years
Im tired
Tired of trying, tired of caring , tired of crying
Im sad
Sad because
I have
A Confused father
An absent brother
An in denial sister
And a suicidal mother
I guess I'm devastated...
Im devastated