I looked over at Zacky and Savannah as they cuddled on the bus after the show.
I tried not to pay too much attention to them.
I dont care if Zacky has a girlfriend.
I have a boyfriend of my own.
But every time I looked at them together, that jealousy inside my spiked.
"Babe?" Matt called over the music.
"Yeah baby?" I asked.
"Can you grab me a beer?" He asked sweetly.
I grinned widely and grabbed him a beer, bringing it over to him.
He grabbed it and then my hand, pulling me on to his lap.
I giggled as he pressed kisses up and down my neck.
He started to bite at my sensitive spot and I bit my lip to keep from moaning.
"Let's save that for later Matt." I told him with a grin.
He smirked.
"Why not now?" He asked.
"Oh no mister. That's not gonna work again." I told him with a laugh.
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close
I felt his warmth and sighed in content.
"I love you." Matt murmured.
I turned and looked at him, a smile on my face.
"And I love you." I said.
He pulled my lips to his and our kiss got more and more heated by the second.
"Come up for air." Brian yelled with a laugh.
I flipped him off without once pulling away from Matt's lips
I forgot just how sweet they are.
The overwhelming feeling of guilt settled in the pit of my stomach.
All of the bad things I've done to Matt.
For absolutely no reason at all.
I'd betrayed his trust.
And for what?
Even I don't know the answer to that question anymore.
I started to feel the moisture in my eyes increase and I had to pull away from Matt.
He caught my face in his hands and I looked down.
"Don't listen to him babe, he's just being a douche cause his girl isn't here." Matt laughed.
I tried to laugh but it got caught in my throat.
Matt's eyes narrowed in worry as he lifted my chin to look at him.
"Babe?" Matt started.
I pulled away quickly and walked out of the bus.
I hadn't gotten two steps out that the tears started to fall.
I wiped them away angrily, trying to stop the tears from coming.
I heard heavy footsteps behind me and a firm hand whipped around and into a strong chest.
"Honey, talk to me. What's wrong?" Matt murmured.
I couldn't speak.
I didn't know what to say.
Matt pulled me over to a nearby bench and sat down, pulling me onto his lap and cradling me back and forth.
"Shh." He whispered, kissing my forehead.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried myself in the crook of it.
I inhaled deeply and took in the mixture of Matt's cologne, beer, and slight sweat from the show earlier.
The guilt of everything I had done had finally set in.
I could feel it all weighing down on me and it did not feel good.
"Baby, please talk to me." He murmured.
"I love you." I cried.
He rubbed my back soothingly, rocking me back and forth.
"Loving me makes you act like this. I'm not sure you should love me then." Matt said.
"Loving you is the best thing that's ever happened to me." I told him honestly.
"Then why are you so upset?" Matt asked me.
"Because, I don't want to lose you." I told him.
"Baby, you're not going to lose me. Not ever." He told me.
I looked up at him, tears still streaming down my face.
"Do you promise?" I asked him.
"I promise you." He said firmly.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.
I started to shiver from the cold outside.
Matt could feel it, and stood up with me in his arms.
"I'm taking you back to the bus." He said.
I sniffled and nodded.
"No more crying okay, Missy? I love you, and I am not going to leaves you." He said.
I nodded again and we made our way back to the bus.
We climbed up the steps and the bus got quiet.
"What happened?" Jimmy asked.
I felt Matt shake his head and he kept walking to the back of the bus.
He laid me down on the bunk and then pulled away.
"Where you going?" I asked him.
I heard the door to the bunks close and then Matt came and laid next to me.
"Just closing the door babe." He said softly, wrapping his arm around my waist.
I cuddled into his neck and inhaled deeply.
"Do you feel better?" Matt asked.
I nodded and kissed his neck.
"Baby, I want you to make love to me." I whispered in his ear.
He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"I don't know if that is such a good idea." Matt said.
"I do." I said, rolling on top of him and straddling his waist.
I kissed up and down his neck, biting lightly across his collarbone.
"Babe, I'm not sure this is a good idea." Matt groaned.
I pushed his hands away and pinned them down above his head.
"I need you Matt. I need you so bad." I said softly.
Matt looked at me with so much emotion in his eyes.
He groaned and rolled over on top of me.
Feeling his body pressed against mine started to cloud my mind with lust.
Matt slowly started to take off my clothes, piece by piece.
"I love you." I moaned as Matt settled himself at my entrance.
He entered me gently and had me gasping for air.
"I love you too." He groaned, making sweet love to me for the rest of the night.
And in those moments, I forgot about all of my worries and enjoyed the love me and Matt shared.
The only thing that scared me, is that I didn't know how long that love was gonna last if Matt ever found out about Zacky.
I would definitely lost him.
So I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms and legs around him, focusing only on him.
And how much I love him.
