I'm almost as nervous as I was when I auditioned. I wasn't sure about coming back but the group is bigger than just me and Avi and it's definitely bigger than some argument that we shouldn't have had. I'd miss singing with them and I'd miss Scott and Mitch and Kevin. Also I have to admit that I'm a little bit curious. When Avi came to apologise he was so different. He was kind and he acted like he actually cared about me. Then there was that moment when I really thought that he was going to kiss me. For a while afterwards I assumed that it was my imagination, does it count as wishful thinking when you mostly dislike the person? But I don't think it was. His hand was on my face and he kept looking at my lips. Why would he want to kiss me? I'm basically just an annoying necessity to him. Sure he was being nice but that was just because he needed me back in the group. Even if I'm not totally sure whether I wanted to kiss him or not, it's still a factor in deciding to come back here.
When I walk in Kevin looks relieved, Mitch and Scott smile and Avi just nods. It's weird how that means almost as much as Scott's huge grin and the way Mitch and Kevin catch me up on everything and tell me how glad they are to have me back. When we start it takes a moment for things to come together, and I'm so worried that we've lost whatever it was that made us fit together so perfectly. Suddenly though Scott hits one particular note and everything falls into place all over again. When we take a break we just sit down where we are and talk. Mitch is telling a hilarious story about an awful date that he went on recently and everyone's laughing and teasing him and for a while it's just about that but then inevitably the conversation turns to everyone else's love lives. "So Kirstie, have you been on any dates recently?" Why do my eyes flick to Avi when he asks that? My eyes don't meet his though, because for some reason he's staring intently at the floor. "Um nope. I've only just got here, I haven't really had the chance to meet anyone yet."
"What? You haven't met anyone attractive since you got here?" "That's not what I meant." I know for a fact that I'm blushing and my voice is embarassingly spluttery. "What about Scott or Kevin or Avi?" Kevin and Scott both laugh it off easily but Avi looks startled. "Um maybe we should get back to rehearsing." Mitch sighs dramatically as he stands up "Spoilsport." He holds his hands out to help Scott up and they both start giggling at Mitch's attempts to pull Scott to his feet. Kevin jumps up easily and I stand back up too. Avi's twirling a sheet of paper around in his hands and he looks sort of distracted and I can't help but wonder if it's something to do with what Mitch said. He wanted to change the subject as quickly as possible. For the whole practice he's been overly polite with me and now when Mitch asks whether I find him attractive it kind of seems like he's freaking out. Ugh, it was easier when he was just rude.
After we leave the rehearsal we decide to hang out for a bit. I guess Kirstie has plans because she turned down the offer in spite of Mitch and Scott's pleading. The four of us walk to a spot on the field at the centre of campus and sit down. It's not too late and it's still light so there are various other people sat in clusters on the grass. "I'm so glad Kirstie came today, I was so worried she wasn't going to." Kevin nods in agreement "Yeah Avi, what did you say to make her come back?" They all turn to look at me and I'm stuck for what to say. "I just apologised and said that we needed her in the group." I don't want to tell them anything else. I'm strangely protective of the time spent in her room. Of the way she opened up to me and the way her eyes were softer than normal. Of the way her skin felt under my fingertips and of that moment when I really, really wanted to kiss her. It's somthing that's been bothering me since it happened. Before that moment I'd never really thought of her like that. I was too caught up in Ella and my annoyance at having her in the group that I failed to notice that she was, well, hot.
"Well whatever you said, I'm just happy it worked. Aside from her being crazy talented she's just so sweet." Mitch nods thoughtfully. "Yeah. She can be tough when she needs to be but it's like her only instinct is to be nice." I feel like I'm the only person in the group who's managed to get on Kirstie's bad side. Not even just once. There's something about her that throws me off somehow. "She's so smart as well." of course that's what Kevin picks up on. "And super beautiful. Her eyeliner is just everything." What is this, Kirstie Maldonado appreciation day? What is it about her that has my three best friends acting like she's the greatest person alive and has me confused and annoyed. I feel like the others are waiting for me to say something but I'm not sure what exactly I have to contribute. "Avi?" "What?" Scott rolls his eyes "You obviously wanted her back in the group, even though you seemed so against it before." "We needed a fifth member, that's all."
Scott raises an eyebrow, Kevin smirks and Mitch actually laughs. "Sure." "Yes sure. She's stubborn and argumentative and a total perfectionist in the most frustrating way. She just puts so much pressure on herself and she has absolutely no clue how talented she is and yeah she's really sweet and smart and ok she's pretty but that doesn't make being around her any easier." All three of them look shocked but I've already said too much so I may as well finish. "Basically it would be a million times simpler if we didn't need her because she's just so distracting." Kevin's mouth has actually fallen open. "Your problem is that you find her distracting?" I start to mumble something in reply but Scott interrupts before I have the chance "Because you think she's so pretty and sweet and talented and humble." His tone is teasing and I groan as I realise exactly what it is that I've done. "You have a crush on her!" I put my head in my hands and sigh deeply. I'm never going to live this down.
