Last night I didn't think about you.
And no, my fingers don't bleed the usual
Self-preserving hypocrisy
That morphs ever so beautifully
Into familiar words of self betrayal;
Words I kept shoving down my own throat
Because I'd rather build a bed of lies
And wallow in subtle convictions
Than accept you for what you were —
A pleasant taste of something I
Always yearned for but never really needed.
I didn't write a dozen poems about
How badly I needed you
In hopes that they would somehow get to you
Or hate myself for revealing too much,
Feeling too much, hurting too much.
I didn't dream of places just to
Carve you in them
Or bawl my eyes out in the shower
To your favourite song.
I simply let the water dissolve the old stench
Of something that never was
While I slowly learned my beauty
And worth,
Naked under soul-restoring
Luminescence
And for the first time in forever,
I was free.
YOU ARE READING
lifeline
Poetry"maybe these words we so infinitely and collectively channel our souls' plights, power and yearnings...will save us one day."
