Since I've met Sarah Catherine

What the hell?

⚠️ abusive mother, self harm and sadness trigger warning

(Y/N)'s POV:

There I was, like a fucking stupid dork, I've totally frozen in front of her. She turned to face me, and I felt Sarah's hand on my shoulder. "Oh my god (Y/N) you are pale. Who's that?" she asked worriedly. And instead of an answer I just yelled "Mom? what are you goddamn doing here? how did you get my address?!"

"Mom?..." Sarah said in a loud whisper.

"Yes!" I said leaving Sarah's side and coming closer to my mother. " The cat ate your tongue? answer me goddamnit"

" I just came to see my beloved daughter and that's the reception I deserve?" she said looking into my eyes."Your father's ex-assistant told me that you were living with your boss since your father's death. she gave me the address and a cellphone number but I had no answer when I called so I rather come here and meet you!" she said in a soft tone that I've never heard before. "so, you'll not invite me to come over?" she continued.

I stood there wordless for a couple of seconds until I realize all that shit was really happening, and Sarah seeing I was about to have and huge anxiety attack just came closer and said. "hey ma'am, I'm Sarah Catherine, (Y/N)'s friend and boss, and I'm sorry for the reception, I'm totally sure that (Y/N) is just surprised. we were about to come in and have something to eat. would you join us?". My mother nodded and Sarah opened the door, my mother got in and I stayed there, paralyzed. My mother made herself comfortable as Sarah said her to be in our living room, and after Sarah came outside to pick me up and lead me upstairs to my room. I sat in my bed almost sobbing and Sarah ran downstairs to give my mother some wine while we changed.

Sarah went back to my room, I was dying inside laid on my mattress with my face buried on it, so she turned me around laying by my side and holding my face with her hands as she said "You'll be nice, we'll go through that shit together and she'll stay here until tomorrow when she'll come back to Tampa at night. capiche?", I nodded while she was drying my tears. I came closer to kiss her but first I said rubbing softly my lips on hers "I had the best day of my existence with you today, don't wanna lose it! I just want you to know that I don't know exactly what we are now but, you'll always be my best friend and I love you to the moon and all the fucking way back" in the end I pressed my lips against hers and smiled.

"ok dork I love you too so bad... so let's change and do some lasagna, does she like it?" Sarah said standing up and walking to the door

"it's fine she'll criticize everything anyways." I said giggling

I dressed up first, so I went downstairs and there was my mother almost laying on the couch I came closer to apologize but she cut me off saying "Nice woman this Sarah... hope you learn how to behave with her, 'cause I see you are the same hooker that used to live in my house" in a sharper tone. I stepped back and she kept talking "... and try to dress like her, you're totally looking like a fucking man... try to be more girly... you're a mess (Y/N)... I'm so embarrassed about being your mother!" she said standing up and coming a little closer. 

I gave her my back without any word coming out of my mouth... and I felt tears rolling back on my face while getting into the kitchen.

"oh..." she said following me to the kitchen, "...you totally should stay away from the knives since you are insane and will probably try to cut your already fucked up skin" so I totally freaked out and yelled at her "What the hell you crazy bitch?". at that moment I've heard Sarah fast steps on the stairs. I kept on yelling "What's so damn wrong with you? you're always doing that sick psychological game with me. You don't agree with my past... I get it ... but why you  keep on torturing me?"; suddenly  Sarah got into the kitchen and interfered "Hey you guys, let's take it easy... we will make the food and Marla, you can rest on the couch since you've been solving problems all day." 

I gazed at Sarah, not so happy, but I got what she said so I started to make the sauce and put a song on (play the song). Sarah came closer to take some condiments and said closer to my ear while stretching herself to reach it "You're bleeding... well talk about that arm later... we will not sleep together tonight, and I know its a lot to process about your mother but you can't hurt yourself anymore. Just breath, I'm here with you". 

The thing was that I didn't notice that I had relapsed until Sarah told me I was bleeding... That's the effect my mother has on me since I was a little girl. I cleaned myself, we made the dinner and ate. 

My mother was gentle with Sarah all the time, and we didn't change a word between us, 'cause I would probably kill her if she said any other mean word to me.  

Sarah gave my room to my mother and I slept on the couch downstairs 'cause to not be weird and to not have to hear any other insults from my mother, I rather not sleep on Sarah's bedroom.

In the middle at the night I woke up feeling I was observed, I turned the lamp on and "Mom!? What now?" I asked a bit scared of what the hell she was doing there. 

"Don't worry, I was just going to the kitchen to take a glass of water, I thought you were somewhere else. Never thought I would cross with a bitch on the way there." she said meanily.

I gluped while i was holding up to not cry in front of her. "okay then" I said turning the lamp of. I couldn't sleep anymore, I really was affraid she could do something to hurt me. All I was thinking at that moment was that I should stay alive for Sarah, but I could totally die, so I would never need to go through that shit again.    

I heard her coming upstairs again, so I went into the kitchen, took a meat knife and crossed into my arm. Havent put so much preassure but it was enough to make a large cut on it. I dropped when I heard someone going downstairs again covering my arm with my pjs sleeve. It was Sarah checking on me...She looked worried but I kept her far enough so she couldn't see what damage I have done to myself.

"Come back to the couch and have some sleep (Y/N)" she said looking at me as she wanted to hold me into her arms, but I avoided her. I couldn't face her. I fucked it up. 

She went back upstairs looking even more worried and sad and I went to the bathroom downstairs to try to contain the blood flux. when it stopped I came back to the couch, feeling my heart beat faster as ever. "hold up only a few more hours" I said to myself.

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sorry its too long guys. lots of information haha I'll try to update the next part soon.