Burn Marks (Joe Cruz/Chicago Fire Fanfic AU)

18. Burnt

I woke up, breathing in deeply. I sat up and looked around. Sylvie wasn't in bed and I could hear her talking in the kitchen. I got up and joined them.

"Good morning," Gabby greeted.

"Morning," I replied. "What're we doing for breakfast?"

"We were thinking of going to a diner nearby," Sylvie answered. "We just have to get ready."

I scratched my arm. "Naturally. I'll go get dressed."

I went into my room. I dug around and found some clothes. I slipped them on and joined the others. We left soon after and got some breakfast. The diner we went to was very cute and they had great food. We finished up and started leaving.

"What are we doing after this?" I asked.

"We could go shopping," Sylvie suggested.

"That sounds alright," Gabby said. "What do you think about that?"

I shrugged. "I don't feel like going but you guys can drop me off at the hotel and I'll be fine."

They agreed and they dropped me off at the hotel. I walked in and everything was silent. My thoughts got to me and what happened crept back. I had difficulty breathing and tears came to my eyes. I had been bottling everything up and I hadn't let myself feel anything.

I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I slowly slipped off my shirt, barely any thoughts coming to mind. I stared at my thought and the tears started running. I balled as I continued to look at the mark that was supposed to match me with Joe.

My tears slowed and stared at the mirror. My mark was swirls of green, blue, and purple. I saw a lighter on the counter and picked it up. I lit it up and brought it against my skin. I didn't have any thoughts as I dragged the lighter across my skin. It didn't even hurt in the slightest. The mark changed to a redder color as the lighter burnt my skin.

After most of the color was burnt away, I set the lighter down. I grabbed some Neosporin and applied it to my burn. I didn't bother putting a shirt back on and I left the bathroom. My tears had dried up and I couldn't feel anything.

I sat on the couch and stared out the window. I didn't even care that someone could see me shirtless. I didn't care for anything at that moment.

A few hours later, I heard the front door open. I hurriedly slipped on my shirt and got up. Gabby, Sylvie, and Stella walked in with bags in their hands.

"Hey," I greeted. "How was it?"

"Fun." Gabby set her stuff down. "You should've come. We got a lot of stuff."

I shrugged. "I'm sure. I was fine here though. I'm not dead."

"I can see," Stella said. "I'm going to put my stuff in my room. I'll be back in a sec."

We all sat at the table and started talking. Stella joined us and we spent most of the evening talking. We went out for dinner and while we were driving, my burn finally started to hurt. I ignored it and tried to focus on what we were talking about.

We arrived at the bar and ordered some food with drinks. We sat at a table and laughed at the stupid jokes we made. We spent a lot of time there and went home late in the night. We went into the hotel room and I sat at the breakfast bar. My chest was starting to hurt even more and I had a hard time masking my pain.

Gabby looked at me with a concerned look. "What's wrong, Naomi?"

"What?" I asked. "Oh, nothing."

Gabby raised her eyebrow. "Really? Did you get hurt or something?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine."

Gabby nodded but I could tell she would ask me about it later. I went into my room and laid down after changing. Gabby came in and leaned against the doorway, an eyebrow raised.

I propped myself up on my elbows. "Yes?"

"What happened while we were gone?" Gabby asked. "You did something."

I shrugged. "Well, I didn't, so get whatever you think I did out of your mind."

Gabby pulled a Neosporin out of her pocket. "This wasn't open when we got here. Stella and Sylvie didn't use it and that leaves you. What'd you do?"

I sighed and sat up. "I accidentally burnt myself. It wasn't too bad though."

Gabby walked over and sat on Sylvie's bed. "I worry about you, Naomi. Ever since Joe, you seem sadder and more subdued. I don't want you to do anything stupid."

I rubbed my eye. "I don't know how to express my feelings sometimes and you know this. I'm really good at ignoring things and repressed what happened. It hurts and it tears me apart inside but I do it. I hurt myself on the inside but I would never cut."

Gabby grabbed my hand. "There are other ways of harming yourself and you know that."

I took off my shirt and straightened my back. The mark was just as red and blistered as it was when I burnt it. Gabby leaned forward and touched my burn.

"What'd you do?" Gabby exclaimed. "This looks like it hurts."

Sylvie walked in and saw what was happening. "What'd you do, Naomi?"

Stella peaked over Sylvie's shoulder and hissed. "That's got to hurt. Did you do that?"

I nodded. "It's whatever. Now my mark is burnt away along with my sadness. I'll be fine."

Gabby grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my feet. "I doubt it. I'll take care of it so it doesn't get infected. Did you do anything to it?"

"I put some stuff on it," I said as Gabby dragged me into the bathroom. "Gabby, I'm fine, really. No need to worry over someone like me."

Gabby shoved me onto the toilet. "Whatever, Naomi. I'm going to fix you up real quick. I'm a paramedic, after all."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"You did that because of Cruz?" Stella asked.

I nodded. "He was my person and he cheated. It's nothing though. I'll deal with it."

"You didn't do it well," Sylvie said. "You burnt yourself."

I shrugged. "What's it to ya? I'm Naomi, the scorned lover of Firehouse 51. Joe can kiss my ass goodbye."