Until you came (Zarry) /English Version

34. Double - cross

Harry

What have I done?

It's just after midnight and I'm sitting alone in Zayn's apartment. Somewhere nearby, the bell tower clock struck, reminding me to go home. Zayn has left minutes before, but his scent is still in the living room. I inhale it, dig my face into the pillow, absorb the warmth into my body and think about the last hours.

Well, everything was the same. We loved each other like there's no tomorrow, screamed our names in pleasure, we kissed until our lips were swollen and sore and were happy. Well, everything was as always - until Zayn said things that threw me completely off course because I had never expected them.

I was so taken by surprise, thought I'd just misheard. But Zayn meant it seriously, very seriously even. What should I have answered? Give up everything for a relationship with a man I barely know? What do we know about each other? How is that even supposed to work? We are both married, neighbours, having an affair. I can't ruin my marriage any more than I already have. Taylor belongs to me, not Zayn.

What have I done?

Before I leave for home, I'll remove the traces of the night of love. My fingers run slowly over the white bedlinen and smooth out the wrinkles. It's the first and last time I've been here - I realize that. Maybe it's better this way. Our relationship was unhealthy, wrong...but also beautiful.

One last look over my shoulder. I scan every corner of this apartment for memories. Zayn is no longer here, but I still feel him. The key turns in the lock. I put it in my jacket pocket and walk home through the darkness. In front of Zayn's house I stop, look up at his window, hoping to get a glimpse of him. Nothing. Everything is dark. The night has swallowed him up.

Taylor lies asleep in our bed. I lean against the room door and watch her. There is no scene, there was no call from her. She just sleeps peacefully. I don't feel tired. So I go back into the living room and open the patio door and walk out. A gentle breeze is blowing through the garden. The big bushes and flowers swaying in the wind. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of nature. That is priceless. I can't give up everything for Zayn. It would be too much change.

But he'd give it all up .

How does he imagine our life anyway? I mean, I'm not even gay. I have never thought about spending my life with a man. That is totally crazy. I love Taylor and she loves me. We have great jobs and a huge house. Our dream has finally come true and now I have to give it all up? Never ever. I can't do that. Tonight was the turning point. Zayn wanted a decision and I made it.

Zayn

With a throbbing headache I wake up next to Gigi. We both slept very restlessly. To be honest, I was awake half the night thinking. My wife rolled back and forth restlessly. With a trembling hand I gently touch her, brushing a blonde strand of hair from her face. She screwed her nose up and tries to open her eyes.

"Good morning, Zayn." she breathes.

"Morning, baby."