Until you came (Zarry) /English Version

35. Lifeless

Harry

My heart is pounding. I thought I might collapse any moment. Inside the house I hear footsteps. It's about time, I think. What am I supposed to say?

A dull sound roused me from my thoughts. Next thing I know, the man of my dreams stands in front of me, bewildered, amazed and with sad eyes.

"What's up?"

That's all he's saying than this damn "What is it?"

"Hello Zayn...uhm...I..."

"Harry, could you please get to the point? I don't want to stand here at the door forever. I already told you that we are busy. So, what do you want?" Zayn nags at me and raises his wonderful eyebrows dangerously.

"Uhm...the key..."

"Which key? What are you talking about?"

"Zayn...can we talk?" I finally say.

In the house I see my former friend Louis. He is standing in the middle of the living room to show me that he will play an important role in Zayn's life in the future. I feel so sick at the thought and at the sight of it. He stands near the table with a big grin on his face.  And to top it all off he blow me a kiss.

"What do you want to talk about, Harry? About you making your decision yesterday? I understood you very well, if that's what you mean. You want Taylor and not me. Okay, okay...I get it. So what else is there to talk about, huh? Explain it to me," he says quietly.

"Zayn...you don't understand...I can't do this..."

"Oh, I think I understand you very well, Harry. But you don't seem to understand me. I don't want this relationship anymore, Harry. You don't want me? Fine! And I don't want to be always your second choice."

"Listen to me, Zee, please."

"I'm tired of hiding my feelings. I want to be honest for once in my life, Harry. Do you understand? I've been honest with you. I love you Harry, unconditionally. What I want, you can't give me . That's the way it is. I have to live with it. And you will have to live with the fact that it's over, once and for all! "

"Does that include Louis, Zayn?" I say. I can not hide my jealousy.

Zayn laughs spitefully and bends over to me. I clearly feel his minty breath and smell the intoxicating vanilla scent of his perfume. I greedily look at Zayn. I love his slender neck, the small mole, the visible stubbles because he didn't shave, the full, full lips - which I was allowed to kiss yesterday. Styles, you are impossible.

"Oh, come on, Styles. Don't get sarcastic with me! What does Louis have to do with us, Harry? Are you jealous because he's in the house courting me? It's really denting your self-confidence, isn't it?  The difference between you and Louis is......he wants me..."

I'm close to tears. What does he say? Is he starting an affair with Louis now?

"So, Louis and you... you two..." Zayn interrupts me.

"What exactly are you doing here? What do you feel like? Do you want to keep the affair going? Is that what you want or do you just want to know whether I have already fucked your publisher? Can't you bear it, when he's here? Otherwise, what's the point? Harry, you are so pathetic. I never thought you were so shallow. Well, live and let learn, my friend."