𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ✰ 𝐚.𝐟.𝐢.

7 | We're friends

❝Lily❞

I stand on the cold tiles of my balcony, watching the Austrian sunset. Somehow, they're far more beautiful than the sunsets that I'd witness in America. A silk kimono-style robe blows loosely against my skin and my hair lay messed against my face. I've found myself thinking out here much more often lately, in turn, I've been smoking many more cigarettes. It all started that night at the diner, that I'd be smoking more. Of course, Ashton hates it, but he doesn't really get to tell me what makes me feel better or not. I mean, I'm not necessarily angry at him anymore, I'm more or less just trying to figure out his motives. Of course we're friends now, and we were before I found out, but why? That's what I must know: why? Why did he even try to speak with me? What interested him in me? I take another drag as I think that one over. The sheer curtains from
my french doors blow past me and the record playing just inside my room has ceased. Yet, I still stay on my balcony. I finish my cigarette and watch as the light from the sky disappears and the night overtakes the horizon.

"Hey," His voice is soft and I turn to see his figure in the doorway behind me. "I brought some ice cream." He lifts up some plastic grocery bags and flashes a smile to me. I gave Ashton an extra key to my apartment about a month ago, a few weeks after our fight. He also gave me one to his, but that's irrelevant right now. His eyes flicker to the small butt of a cigarette in between my fingers and he shakes his head a bit. He's learned not to tell me to stop by now, but he does make it a point to let me know that he's disappointed. "I got your favorite, cookie dough," He extends a hand to me and I take it and follow him back into my living room. "Oh," he turns to me as we walk, "I also got a movie that looked good, I thought that we could watch it together. It's supposed to have some good music in it, so I thought you might like it."

"Should I make some popcorn too?" I stop at the kitchen and turn to Ashton.

"Sure, I'll get the movie started." He hesitantly smiles at me, almost looking me up and down and walks to the next room. There's been tension between us, yes, but nothing we can't handle. I fix my robe and wait for my popcorn to finish, taking it to the next room where Ashton sits on the sofa with a blanket over his lap.

"I was cold." I laugh at his statement. He's such an adorable man.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I could go close my balcony doors if you-" He cuts me off, patting the sofa beside me.

"No, just get your little ass over here and cuddle up next to me so you can warm me up." I smile to the curly haired man and take the blanket and toss it over myself. Ashton wraps his arm around me and pulls me against him. The movie unfolds in front of us and we enjoy our snacks and each other's company.

I'm nearly all of the way asleep when my doorbell rings. Both Ashton and I jump in place at the sudden ringing noise. I climb to my feet and brush my hands across my robe to straighten it out before opening the door. To much surprise, it's Jenny, my old friend is standing in the doorway, her smile falling to a look that can only be described as disgust.

"Hi, Lily, I-" She stops speaking and looks me up and down before looking past me to Ashton on my sofa. I completely forgot about my attire before I answered. I even completely forgot that I was wearing it when Ashton showed up. I was just planning on going straight to bed before he came, but scratch that, we're in the thick of it now. "What is he doing here?"

"Hi, Jen, I was just-" She cuts me off in her disapproval.

"Oh, Lily, what on earth are you still doing talking to that wretched man?" We haven't talked much since I moved here. I guess both Jenny and I have gotten busy in different things. Plus, she doesn't like Ashton, so there's that.

"We're, friends, Jen." I force these hushed words through my gritted teeth, pulling the door behind me to shield her words from him.

"Of course, Lily," She scoffs and places her hands on her hips. "Have you seen yourself? What you're wearing? I doubt that entirely. I bet you two were just getting cozy."

"C'mon, Jenny, you don't mean that!" I frown at my friend.

"I think I do, now go back to Ashton, he's not going to stay there for long, especially after he fucks you." She waves me off before walking down the hall and out of sight.

I'm hurt, to say the least. It brought up so many memories about Ashton and I's fight. I just stood in the doorway for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts, eyes wide and not far from tears. I feel a warm presence behind me as Ashton wraps an arm around me and pulls me back into my apartment, he effortlessly places the palm of his free hand to the door and closes it softly. He runs his hand up and down my back coos soothing words to me and walks me back to the sofa.

"I'm sorry, Lil." He whispers in the still air of my apartment.

"For what?"

"You lost your best friend because of me, and I'm sorry." He specifies, looking at me sympathetically.

"No, I didn't, Ash."

"What? She just said those terrible things and stormed off? Of course you did." He's baffled.

"I know, but Ashton," I peck my lips on his cheek. "you're my best friend." He places a hand over the spot on his cheek that I kissed and smiles to me. "Anyways, I just want to go to bed now. That was a lot to handle for one night."

"Okay, Lil." Ashton smiles to me again. He wraps a hand around my waist and walks me back to my room, closes my balcony doors and pulls his shirt over his head. He tosses it onto the floor somewhere near my bed and rummages through a drawer of his clothes. The drawer originated from me stealing his clothes, and of course, the collection grew over time and I never gave the clothes back. Maybe that was a good thing?

"What are you doing, Ash?" I chuckle, contemplating on changing into more acceptable pajamas.

"Oh, me? I'm just looking for some pajamas for myself." He shrugs like it's nothing.

"For?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm not going to leave you after what happened tonight."

"Hm," I hum, thinking about the whole situation. "Is that all?"

"What?" He's pulling some sweat pants on now.

"I said, 'Is that all?'" I huff, taking a tee shirt in my hands. "Is that the only reason?" 

"No." He plops himself onto my bed, smiling to me the entire time. "I want to cuddle too."

"Hah! I knew it!" I plop down beside him and he immediately grabs me and pulls me against him. We both fall into a laughing fit.

But he stops.

I continue on for a while longer before I even notice. "What?" I chuckle a bit.

"Your laugh. I like it." He turns on his side to face me better. I don't know how to really respond to that.

So I don't.

Maybe I just don't want to. Maybe I just want to avoid anything like that.

I want to scream out. I want to tell him that I like him in response, but I'm scared. So I don't.

So I just smile and hum in response.