Psychopath (EDITING)

11

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My body feels so heavy. It's like there is this anchor that is strapped around my core that is keeping me planted down. I can't even look up, my face is just planted down. Down— on these soft, warm blue velvet sheets. It feels so good against my skin, so damn soft and smooth... 

But this smell... It smells so familiar... Mmmm it smells so good. Taking deep breaths in from the sheet, I felt some strength pass to my arms. I drowsily opened my eyes, to look around. Except I was not expecting what I saw. Sitting not far from the bed I was in was him. He was passed out in a chair, hands crossed his chest, his face tensed. From this angle, he still looks angry, but seeing the slow rise and fall of his chest made him seem... child-like. Wait, what the fuck? W-wha? W-why? The fuck? Why is he here? Damn, I was sniffing up his smell again! Dammit Sarah! Losing my sense of control, I felt myself start to hyperventilate, as my body went into overdrive about all the possible thoughts of what he might have done while I was passed out. God, did he molest me? Did he kiss me again like last time? I felt my hands start to quiver again, as I tried to look around the room for a possible exit. I needed to get away from him... 

His groan filled the room as he slowly woke up, and stretched his arms. Out of fear, I grabbed the covers and brought them over me as far back in the bed as I could get from him. He looked over at where I was resting before, and seemed like he started to panic as he saw that I was no longer there. He quickly got up, but then saw my scared form in the far side of the bed. 

"B-baby, what are you doing all the way over there?" He seemed to take in my fragile state, as he lowered himself to my level, and lowered his voice.

"Baby, don't be scared of me.. I"m not the one that hurt you." He reached his arm out to comfort me, but I just moved farther away from him. He looked genuinely hurt by my rejection, the dark coals in his eyes turning a slight shade of blue. Not long after, he went back to his cold-faced front, almost like he physically turned off his emotions.

"T-t-that's exactly w-what someone would say before they hurt y-you." I bluntly said, feeling the scared quiver in my voice make my comment sound pathetic. I wanted to yell, scream, beat him so badly right now, but yet again, I'm just too fucking weak. God, I should just kill myself....

"Love, I would nev—" Mid-sentence, he stopped talking. Confused, I looked up, only to notice my wet eyes. I was crying... but I didn't even notice. It was like my body was acting on its own, and I  brought my knees closer to my chest, as I started to sob loudly. I don't deserve to live... 

"Fuck baby..." I heard him mumble out. He moved over to my side of the bed and sat down right next to my body. I just didn't care at this point, and I thought that if I didn't move, he could finally end my sad excuse of a life. The tears weren't stopping either, they were never ending... I could tell that he didn't know what to do. I mean, if I was in his position and had a pathetic girl crying her heart out on my bed, I would be lost. He's probably pissed off, I'm getting tears all over his nice expensive bed sheets. All of a sudden, I felt his arms wrap over my body, his body completely covering mine. At first, my body jolted by the sudden touch, and I felt my lungs freeze. He was touching my body, and the warmth scared me. I expected someone like him to be freezing cold, much like his heart. But, it was warm, and it felt good. Weirdly, my body just slumped down, and I felt the last drop of energy fade. He started to rub my back, and mumble something into the back of my neck. No one has ever tried to comfort me like this in my life, and to be honest, it didn't feel like comfort. I mean, what really is comfort? Someone trying to help you, but how the fuck can they do that? No one knows what the fuck someone has been through, and their thoughts so how the fuck can they comfort you? 

Thinking was so exhausting at this point, so I just stopped. Whatever he was trying to do, he wasn't hurting me. So I might as well just let him do it, and it will be over and done with. He can think that he is comforting me, but you con't comfort someone who doesn't know what the fuck that is...