The Red String of Fate

For Better or For Worse - Kakashi

A few days later, they were both released from the hospital. Kakashi felt much stronger; it had taken longer than expected for the residual poison to be counteracted by the antidote. The walk home was slow and, for his wife, painful. He knew that her stitches, and her entire stomach, was in excruciating pain. He placed an arm around her and walked with her slowly, supporting her as she walked. He carried her in and placed her on the bed, turning to the bathroom and starting the shower.

"I have to get rid of that hospital feel. Do you want to join me, Z?"

She seemed leary.

"Um... I'm okay for now. I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Oh..."

He stepped into the shower and braced himself against the wall, bumping his head against it over and over.

"Stupid... stupid... stupid..."

He just let the tears flow freely. He realized the physical recovery was going to be the easy part.

"Are you okay?"

Mizuka opened the shower curtain slightly, peeking in on him.

"You can just come talk to me. I won't touch you. I promise."

Mizuka disappeared and he heard water splashing into the tub. He turned the shower off and peeked out, watching his bride gingerly take off her clothes and climb into the tub. Her torso and the skin between her legs and thighs were deeply discolored. He wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her, save her from this fucking nightmare, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he sat across from her, arms curled around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. He didn't have the words to make her feel better. His voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Really, I'm okay-"

"Stop. Stop telling me you're okay. You're not okay. I'm not okay. You're going to keep saying that and we are going to ignore this, and it will destroy us."

"What do you want me to say, Kakashi? That an Akatsuki member that I used to sleep with raped me with his fist and forearm? Then he kicked me and yelled that I could never have your children until he finally, mercifully, knocked me unconscious? Because, there it is."

She began to cry bitterly.

"He took one of the only normal relationships I've ever had. He stole my sexuality from me, Kakashi. My femininity. He stole the only intimate contact I care about with the person I love the most."

"No, he didn't. Nobody can take those things away from you. That's something you have to let him have-"

"HE FUCKING RAPED ME, KAKASHI!"

Kakashi put his chin back down on his knees. He spoke weakly.

"Then don't let him have it."

She let out a cry that could only be compared to the one he heard during the incident. It sent chills down his spine.

"Please, Mizuka, let me help you get through this. For better or for worse, right?"

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"Okay."

Her voice was barely a whisper, but it planted the seeds of hope into his heart.

"You tell me where we go from here. I can sleep on the couch forever, if that's what you want. We never have to have sex again, but, please, don't shut me out."

"I won't."

"Your belly looks pretty bad. Does it hurt a lot?"

"Not as bad as my heart hurts."

They sat in silence for a minute.

"You can touch it if you want."

"Can I give you some of my chakra to heal it?"

"It takes a long time to heal bruising. Nobody even bothers to do it."

"I've got time."

He reached out and put his fingers on her bruised bell, touching her gingerly.

"You know, your belly is my favorite part of your body."

This made her smile weakly.

"Why's that?"

"I don't know; it just is. It's perfect. And it's the first thing I love to kiss when I lay down with you."

She laughed, wincing in pain.

"That's probably an evolutionary trait, since that's where my womb is."

He smiled.

"Maybe it is."

"Are you saying that you're warming up to the idea of a child someday, Kakashi Hatake?"

"Well, I wouldn't take it that far, but it's something that maybe we could discuss someday, if we're ever both on the same page. Are you warming to the idea of a child?"

"Not in a world like this."