Runner

Chaoter 16

Unedited

Laying against Texas's chest I finally feel myself really relax.

When we got home he had taken a bath with me, massaging my sore muscles that were still tight from the stress of this afternoon.

After the bath he left me to change before bringing in a pizza his sister had dropped off. We sat in the bed, my head in his lap, his hands on my belly just enjoying being with each other and enjoying the pizza. Pregnancy has given me a whole new appreciation for food.

It feels so nice to be held by a man, to be cared for. It feels like it's more than sex. I have never felt anything like this. Snuggling closer into his chest I feel so happy. Is this what having a boyfriend feels like?

My heart leaps at that word just like it had at the hospital. Could he really want me like that, as more than just a casual fuck?

"At the hospital why did you call me your girlfriend?" I ask the question that has plaguing me.

"I'm sorry I should have asked, but I do not want to just be your friend Lilly. I thought that I had been clear about that from the beginning. I will NEVER think of you as just a friend, but I thought calling you my Old Lady might get me in trouble. So will you do it?" He says while continuing to tun run fingers through my hair. It's so hard to think when he does this.

"Do what?" I mumble.

Laughing he rolls his eyes at me but pulls me closer. "Your my girlfriend, baby. I promise I will always put you first, always treat you right. You will never have to want or worry about anything again. Because I will always take care of you." He says with so much conviction.

"I want to stay like this forever" I say avoiding the subject. A very big part of me is happy he took the choice from me. I'm happy he decided I was his and did not ask. I'm scared that if he had asked I would have said no. I'm a big scaredy cat.

"So I have to leave for a trip tomorrow, I'll be gone for a couple of weeks." Texas says in a sad voice.

He is leaving, my heart sinks. I knew this was too good to be true. I knew that he would love me and leave me. This trip is nothing but an excuse, I'm sure he will never talk to me again when he gets back if he ever comes back.

I was too much, too needy, too broken.

"Okay." I whisper in defeat. I know there is no point in arguing with him, in trying to fight for him. I'm not worth it. I have had a hundred staff members tell me the same before "I'm going on vacation but I will be back, you know I love you Lilly. You are so much more than a job" They never came back.

It was always like this too as soon as we started to bond, as soon as I became attached. They would just up and leave always promising to call while away, always promising to come back.

"Just okay? No I'm going to miss you Texas? Not even a where the Hell are you going?" He asks while trying to pull my face out of his chest to look him in the eyes. But I refuse I do not want him to know how upset I am with him breaking up with me.

"I'm going to miss you Texas." I say because it's the truth I will miss him. He got under my skin, I caught feelings as Kelsey would say.

"I promise I will call when I can Love.  I am going to miss my girl." He says while pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"Don't bother. Can you turn the lights off, it been a long day." I say in an emotionless voice while rolling over and turning my back to him. I close my eyes tight praying that he doesn't see the tears leaking out onto my face.

"What do you mean don't bother? You could never be a bother baby." He grumbles.

"Nevermind please just turn the lights off." I do not want to fight my last night with him.

Surprisingly he does as I ask before coming back to bed and pulling me into his chest. All of a sudden I realize that I need him to make love to me, I need to feel him one last time.

Turning I start kissing up his chest making  a slow approach his lips. While my hand grabs his rock hard member, stroking it the way I know he likes.

"Make Love to me." I whisper as I pull my hand away and start grinding my hips into his own.

"Baby your hurt, you have had a hard day, you don't need me like that right now." He says in a strained voice.

"Actually that's exactly what I need. Your leaving me Texas I need to feel you " I leave the one last time off but it's true.

"Are you sure? I'm okay to just cuddle, to just hold you." He says in a husky voice.

"Please Texas I neeed you." I say while grinding harder and pressing into him more. I pull my shirt off and I swear he almost swallows his tongue.

"How can I say no to that?" He asks taking each globe I to his mouth and sucking before rolling on top of me......

When we are finished I lay naked and sweaty against his chest. His hands are holding my own and it's so intimate, so loving that my heart hurts.

I allow myself to breathe him in, knowing that it will be the last time I ever allow a man to hold me. Red could have never destroyed me not really, but Texas he has done just that.

He holds me tight as I cry I to his chest. I can't help it anymore. I have to let then go, just like I have to let him go. I will not beg another person to stay in my life.

Sorry about taking a day off BUT vote and comment to let me know what you think!