Runner

Chapter 20

Unedited

I refuse to look at him. I can feel his eyes on me but I refuse to look.

I knew he had left me, and I thought he had broken my heart then. But apparently there was some of it left because I think I felt it break a little more watching another woman pressed into him. Like he is her savior, her protector.

Poor girl I had thought he was all of those things for me but now look at him! Blinking quickly I turn back to the group of women giving them a forced smile. I can do this. All of these women are here to celebrate Zaylee and I will not let him ruin this.

So I open gift by gift, I say all the right things, and I refuse to look at him. He will not destroy this day.

After what feels like two hours of opening gifts all I want to do is go home, to run away. I do not want to face him and that girl.

Smiling I stand up slowly, my muscles hurting from sitting too long. I am officially in the phase where I just can't get comfortable. My belly has grown and Zaylee is constantly moving.

"Thank you all for the beautiful gifts. I have NEVER had anything like this and it means the world to me. I have been terrified at the thought of being a single Mom, of raising someone by myself. But after today I know I will not be alone. I have heard that it takes a village to raise a child, and I just want to thank you all for already being my village." I say while tears run down my face because it's all true I have finally found my people!

I quickly wipe the tears away and embrace 2 of my 3 best friends. "Thank you guys so much for this beautiful shower!"

"You deserve the very best Lilly!" Megan says squeezing me tighter.

"Where is Summer?" I ask looking for my other friend.

"Not sure I will go find her." Kelsey says giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Do you think I can go ahead and head home Megan? I'm really tired." I say instead of admitting that I'm too scared to face Texas.

"Sure honey don't worry about the gifts we will bring them over tomorrow and help you put them away."

"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow." I say with a weak smile. Turning around I make a beeline for the door without looking in Texas direction.

I can't keep my eyes off of her she is so much bigger than when I left. She is like a breath of fresh air. God I missed her but apparently the feeling isn't mutual.

She hasn't even looked at me. I know she knows I am here but I might as well not be.

What the actual fuck.

Following her outside after her "single mom" speech I am livid.

What more do I have to do to prove to her that she has ME. She is not going to break up with me! Fuck that!

I am here for her, she is mine. I might have left for a month but that does not change shit. If she only knew.

God I need to breathe before I strangle that pretty little throat. That thought is enough to stop me. I would NEVER hurt Lilly EVER. But I'd be damned if she is not hurting me!

This cat and mouse game sucks. I hate being the cat. I hate the chase I just want her to want me. With that I turn back around and go inside. I'll check on her later I need a minute.

Finding Kelsey I introduce her to Claire and explain that she will be staying at the club house.

Kelsey takes to her like I knew she would and insists on taking her home. Damn she looks at her like she is a lost puppy. I almost feel bad for Claire but I think she needs someone like Kelsey. Maybe Kels can help Claire find her feet like she did with Lilly.

Claire had hesitated at first but agrees in the end. It's obvious she has had too many dominant men in her life and the club is not a good fit.

Going outside I get on my Indian Scout motorcycle, my baby. Riding my bike gives me solace it calms me. It comforts me when the only person I really want does not want me. For once I do not yearn for my thighs to be wrapped around this powerful machine but a delicate little body.

I have not wanted a woman since high school, not in the permanent way at least. Sure I have fucked a couple of the club whores but they were just that a quick fuck to let the edge off. I didn't care about them, I didn't think I could care about anyone the way I care about Lilly. Fuck.

The my time in the army made me hard, made me rough. It made we seek a lifestyle that is not fit for a family.

I was deployed a lot in my military career. I spent the majority of it over seas. It was exactly what I needed at the time. It was a distraction from my happy family falling apart.

A distraction is a nice way to put it after you see hundreds of starving babies and children. I don't know why but that always hit me the hardest. It was the look of desperation in their young eyes, the look of hunger. Knowing I was as caught up in a political system bent to destroy me as much as them I had accepted it. I did everything I could for them while I was there and moved on when I left. It was painful in it's own way.

On my fourth tour in Afghanistan I was blown up when riding through a village. I broke a couple of bones and was shook up pretty bad. But I still wanted to go back, I couldn't imagine leaving my men to fight without me.

The army doctor's did not care though. They gave me a medical discharge after my right leg just refused to heal properly. And it was obvious that my inability to be in small contained areas was a no go.

Being physically injured I could deal with. I could see it and accept it. It did not make me feel less. When addressing my mental injury I could not cope. It was crippling. My inability to be in car, to be contained was suffocating. I felt week, and ashamed of my issues. So I secluded myself.

When I got home state side I bought a bike knowing that I can't walk everywhere but unable to be in a car. Riding around the country I met a lot of interesting people but I never stayed long. I could not handle my depression, I could not deal with my shame.

One day I ended up in this little town and went to the bar for a drink. I normally washed the memories of my tours away with a bottle of Jack. I did not plan to talk to anyone and I sure as He did not plan to stay longer then a night but I met Gear.

Being a veteran himself we clicked. I found myself opening up to him and talking about old war stories. He was the first person who truly got it.

He was already apart of the Veterans MC and recruited me in. They gave me a family of people who understood me and my issues. They helped me heal more than a therapist ever could.

So I became an active member, working my way until I am now the president. I moved my sister in with me after she graduated college and I kept my family close. This club and Kelsey are my life because they gave me my life back. The life that I thought I left behind in Afghanistan.

And now I have someone, someone who I could make a life with outside of the club. Someone I can love, and she does not want me.

Life fucking sucks sometimes but I'd be dammed if I won't fight for Lilly. I have been fighting since I was 17 and fighting for her will be the best fight of my life.

Ummmm what is life y'all? This story is now #9 under #MC 😳🤭 I feel like someone is pranking me! So my needy butt has no shame and now I'm the ambitious MF'er because I am going to ask for more likes so I can move to at least the top 5 😉 Soooooo help a sister out lol!