Runner

Chapter 27

Unedited

Listening to Texas coo to Zaylee made me warm all over. His voice gets so much softer when he speaks to her it's almost comical. You would think that the big bad veteran and President of a biker club would be immune to the babies charm but he is hooked. She does not know it yet but she has him wrapped around her little finger.

Things are good. Really really good.

I have been playing house with Texas and Zaylee for two months now. Playing house, that's what one of my old nannies would call this. If her strict uppty southern baptist lead belief were to be asked. "Playing house thats what the young people do now days they don't honor the covenant between a man, woman, and God. They have no respect for how things are supposed to be. Two people living together like they are married. Two people playing parent to a beautiful baby. Pretending like everything is fine, everything is normal. What a disgrace!" She would have said.

A big part of me feels that she is right but a bigger part of me acknowledges that everything DOES feel fine. And isn't fine better then any way I had ever felt before? Isn't fine enough? Yes, yes it is because it has to be.

Texas moved in the afternoon after Zaylee was born and hasn't left. I would be panicking by now but it just feels right. It feels like this is how it's supposed to be. I shouldn't be thinking about uppty nannies or letting the opinions from people of my past get in the way of what I have right now. Right now is good, right now is just fine.

Texas loves Zaylee and I so much and he proves it to me every day. He takes turns with her feedings every night, he helps around the house, and the bakery. He kisses me, huggs me, gives me the words that I have always wanted. He is literally perfect. But I still haven't found the courage to tell him that I love him back.

Silly I know I am but I cant help but feel bone chilling fear everytime I go to tell him. I'm so scared that the moment those words leave my mouth something will happen to take him away from me. Call me a glass half empty type of girl but the fear is real and it's there.

"Watcha over thinking baby?" Texas asks while walking in the room with Zaylee tucked into his arm.

"Hmm nothing, everything. I'm so happy right now and that is terrifying." I admit when looking up into his dark eyes. I should think that they are cold that's what most people would. They are dark and hard to read but they belong to the most wonderful man in the world.

His arms are as large as tree trunks and could easily crush the baby in them. They could just as easily hurt me as the baby but haven't the provided comfort to the both of us? Haven't they hugged the both of us against his chest as he has whispered loving words in our ears. Yes, yes they have. You definitely can not judge someone off of looks alone.

Taking me into those arms now he squeezes me tight as he holds Zaylee and I. Home this is home.

"I'm happy your happy baby, you make the happiest man in the world. I love you and Zaylee so much. Let me make a future with you?" He asks as he steps away. I feel cold without him, but my heart stops when I see him get down on one knee.

In one arm he holds my daughter while in the other he reaches down and pulls out a box. In an awkward attempt he opens the box that has a beautiful opal ring sitting in it. Oh.

"I love you with my whole heart Lilly you are my world. You have been since I saw you across the street making plans for the bakery. You worked your way into my heart, to a place that I didn't know existed. I know your thinking that this is too soon but this isn't enough for me. Staying here with you, and Zaylee knowing that there is nothing real preventing you from leaving, nothing to show you that I am committed. I know you need more then words and baby so do I. I need this I need commitment, and promises, and I need forever with you. So what do you say, wanna make it official and take it to the church?" He asks in one breath. He looks so nervous, so scared and somehow that makes this easier.

How like him to know what I need without me ever even needing to tell him. How like him to know the right words, the right place, the right everything.

Seeing him down on one knee, with a ring, holding my baby, in what has become our living room, above my bakery, telling me he wants promises, and he is nervous. How like him to somehow become more perfect when I thought he already was.

"It's not... Too soon, and your right promises are exactly what I need." I whisper as I step to him. Taking the baby from his hands I step back before he can take hold of me. If he touches me I will lose my courage I want this to be perfect for him too.

"Your amazing you know? You make me happy, make me feel safe, make me feel loved. You took one look at me and just decided that I'm your forever, that we are your forever and I'm thankful for that. Stay here please." I say as I turn and leave. Coming back in I'm holding a box that I had planned on giving him tonight.

Getting on my knees in front of him I tuck Zaylee into my side and open a small box of my own.

"I had planned on your sister watching Zaylee tonight so I could give this to you but I suppose now I have to do it. But now is perfect." Opening the box I pull out a small handmade patch that I had sown. It's not a ring but something that I thought was more his style. Something he could still wear and think of me every time he looked on his shoulder. In the center of the patch it has two hearts with my name in one heart, and Zayless in the other. I had made this several weeks ago and had been too scared to give it to him.

Looking up I see the understanding in his eyes as they fill with tears.

"I think its my turn now. I love you Jackson with my whole heart, you and Zaylee are my savior's, and the only reason it beats. You took a broken girl and never gave up on her, and made her whole. You taught me that I am worth loving. You made me think of forever for the first time in my life. You made me realize that if there is a forever then I want to spend it with you. I want the promises and the life that you have helped me create. I want to wake up in your arms every morning, and your mouth is the only one I want to kiss. I want you, but most importantly I want to never stop loving you."

Tears fall down both of our faces as he pulls Zaylee and I into his arms. Sitting with my baby tucked into my chest and my cheek resting on against his heart. With his thick tree trunk arms wrapped around us I feel like I am finally home. And I pray that this will be the only home I will ever know. Because for the first time in my life I know what it's like to love and to be loved in return. I am done running unless it's into this man's arms.

Crying because this is the end of it! I hope you enjoyed Texas and Lilly's story as much as I did. I know that you waited a long time for the ending but I could not decide how I wanted it to end, but knew that it had to be finished in this chapter. Please join me in enjoying me newest book "Summer" it's the second in the Veterans MC series. I can't thank you enough I never imagined this much success with this book and I hope to continue to read your uplifting comments and encouraging messages through the rest of the series. ❤️