Runner

Chapter 22

The slap sounds like a gun shot in the air and it might as well have been. Oh my God what did I do?

I have never laid my hand on ANYONE! I have never tried to hurt someone. What is wrong with me? I am a monster!

I am just as bad as Red. Texas is going to hate me, I hate me.

Coverings my handprint with my hand I want to cry more. It's warm to touch and I know how much a smack can hurt. I did this, I caused him pain. I am a monster.

"I'm sorry I cry, I am a monster! I am so sorry Texas nothing you could have ever done could have justified me hurting you!" Sobs rock my body as I cry in shame.

"Fuck your sorries I deserved that Lilly!" He says covering his hand over mine. I just shake my head, my whole body is trembling with regret.

"Hey, I pushed myself on you even when you asked me to leave. You where rightl when you said that I don't get to do that! But I want to fight for you. I know I wasn't doing it right but listen to me now. Please?" He asks in a broken voice.

I just nod my head because what else can I do? I just attacked the poor man!

"Do you want to sit down?" He asks looking down at my ankles I follow his eyes and see that they are huge! Ugh being pregnant is so much fun. Forget the constant stream of tears when your ankles look like softballs!

Sitting on the bed Texas sits beside me and pulls my feet onto his lap. He starts to rub my aching feet. I grown in approval before quickly trying to jerk them away!

I'm crazy I literally just slapped the shit out of him, he should not be rubbing my feet!

"Relax baby, it calms me to touch you. I promise I will not try to steal another kiss. I just want to make you feel good before you kick me out." He says while kneeding everything that hurts.

"You shouldn't though, I HURT you Texas. I am a monster, I am no better than Red." I say trying to tug my foot back but his hands are like a lock.

"You are NOTHING like that fucker. I was pushing myself on you even when you gave me a clear no. I would have beat the shit out of me if I were you."

"So you forgive me?" I ask in a small voice.

"Baby there is nothing to forgive if anything I need to teach you how to better defend yourself. Besides I like a little fire in my woman." He says with my favorite grin.

"I'm not your woman anymore Texas. You left me and traded me out for someone better. Just like everyone else has." I say defeated.

"I have NOT traded you out, your my one and only baby. I told you I am just helping Claire out. She is nothing more than a friend, I am hoping she will eventually become your friend too. And what do you mean like everyone else? I thought Red was your only boyfriend before me."

Sighing I fess up. It's not like he doesn't know basically everything about me anyway.

"When I was little my parents had a lot of money, and not a lot of time for me. I was their show peace they brought me out when they needed to look like the perfect family. When that wasn't happening I was with a nanny or another staff member. Most of them were nice, some of them not though. I was never really nurtured you know? So anyway EVERY single time I started to get attached to one of them or it felt like they started to see me as more than a job they would leave. One day they would be there and the next they were taking a vacation or were just replaced completely, never even saying goodbye. My Mom always told me that it was because they had their own lives and could not be expected to be devoted to a little girl for forever." I say with a shrug.

Looking down at my hands I feel the familiar tug of shame for never being enough.

"So one day you told me that you like me, that you want me to be your girlfriend, your forever and the next you leave. I never answered your calls because I could not bare to hear another "It's not you, it's me speech." I could not take another rejection even when I knew you leaving was exactly that."

"Oh baby" he says pulling my ankle so I slide across the bed. The next thing I know I am in his lap with my face pressed into his chest and I'm crying.

"I didn't leave you Lilly, not like that. Never like that. I went to take care of Red, to make sure he would not be a threat to you and Zaylee. It took me longer than what I thought it would but I missed you every second I was away. Claire was just your replacement for Red. She didn't have anywhere to go so I brought her back with me. Baby, I will never leave you."

"Aaarrreee you jjjuuussstt sssaaaaaay saaaying that bbeecccause iiim pregnant?" I sob into his chest.

"No baby I am saying that because it's the truth. I just left to eliminate Red. I did not want to tell you because I didn't want you to be upset."

Honestly now that I think about it his story makes since. Texas would go all alpha male on my ass and decided to take care of my problem. I am a horrible person.

"So we are still together?" I asks after I am finally able to calm down.

"Together forever baby." He promises and for once I believe him.

"What do you mean when you say "eliminate Red?" I ask......

Okay guys comment and vote to let me know watcha think! I will be taking a break for a couple of days... Beginning to think I need to do this once a week or so. :) I have some big weekend plans and do not plan to spend them writing 🤷🏼‍♀️ Tis only a hobby after all.