DOUBLE STANDARDS

Chapter 4

10 years later

Cash
Imagine sitting in the middle of your floor so deep in another world that when you come to you can't remember where you are. Now imagine you do realize your location but can't fathom the reason behind a gun going off in your living room. Now picture you jump up run to get you gun out of your closet and step into the hallway ready to blow a motha fuckas head off only to realize that motha fucka is your little brother. All I could see was J man holding a gun to his side staring at the couch. My heart beat quickened Brit loved to watch reruns of old shows. Had he killed our brother? If so why? I walked towards the living room, hand still firmly holding my piece as confusion took over my mind. What I saw next put me on my dick. My uncles ass hanging out of his pants and Cash zipping his up. "Yo what the fuck is going on?" I ran towards my uncle who had shitted his self to check for a pulse. Nothing. J man put his gun in his pants, went in the kitchen, made a bowl of cereal, jumped up on the counter and said, "Tell him Brit." Brit looked confused his self anyone could clearly see what had happened but I wanted to hear it. I wanted to know my assumption was reality before I jumped to that conclusion. Brit who was now sitting on the couch shaking slightly said, "Unc been...." J man tossed his bowl across the kitchen finishing his sentence for him. "Smooth been fuckin' on Brit for like 6 more now. That nigga ain't our uncle, that nigga ain't our protector and now he ain't our problem." Brit looked at J man more confused than I did as J man said, " Yea motha fucca I been knowing, I just wanted to make sure everything was in order before I killed his faggot ass." I slid down the wall taking everything in. J man must have been in the business of reading minds as he looked at me and said, "And don't worry Cash cps not gon split us up we gon ride this shit out like normal until daddy get out." My blood pressure shot through the roof as I jumped up ran towards J man, grabbed him by his shirt lifting him up off his feet so we could see eye to eye. "I don't know what fantasy ending you done came up with in your head, but I do know one thing we got a body laid in the middle of the floor that's for sure gon' get us split up." He looked at me not remorseful for shit as he said, "Put me the fuck down before you piss me off." Picture me a 15 year from the projects trying to feed myself daily to assure me and my brothers would make it out. Taking on things some people could never imagine. Picture excitement plastered across my face as I read the words accepted at the top of the junior police academy letter that morning. Now picture that same face not even ten hours later hardened. World crashing down because even though you seen a brighter future for yourself your love for a relative overpowered that so you would have to man up. That's when I knew my dreams would have to be put on hold, that's when every ounce of motivation I'd had left my body. "Winslo you have a visit." That night when those laws ran in because old Mrs. Dorset heard gunshots and called the police, is the night I knew I wasn't meant to be a police officer. "Winslow visit." I looked at the officer and signaled to him to wait I was telling my bunkey my life story. "Look Ima finish the rest when I come back from seeing my brother." My bunkey nodded wanting to hear more. He had just turned 18 and I saw a lot of J man in him. Wanting so badly to be on top of a world that he currently sat under. I thought I was doing the right thing for both of my brothers but I was only making it worse for them. After fighting my case for over 2 years I was finally tried as an adult. I got shipped off to the county where I lost my battle. I was given 65 years with an additional 5 that stemmed from a fight I'd had my first year, resulting in the other man being stitched from his ear to his mouth. As I walked down the corridor with the guard following behind me I thought to myself, You don't choose your family they are Allahs gift to you as you are to them.

Brit
Man I knew he was gon' come in this bitch wit that osamalikebacon ass Muslim shit and I wasn't feeling it today. Me and J owed him our life but nowadays J mind was set up like motha fuckas owed him something. He had Cash books set up nice don't get me wrong but the ultimate disrespect came with the no letters, no visits and no phone calls. That's all Cash wanted was for us to live life outside of our norm. Shit I did just that closing on my second house this week and studying medicine all while raising a beautiful healthy 2 year old little boy with my wife, Pooh. After Uncle Smooth died (who to her knowledge was killed by a drug deal gone bad situation) me and J went to stay with her and her mom who cared about our benefits more than our wellbeing. We were inseparable and that led to more intimacy than anything. We hid it for a while until I couldn't take my friends hitting on her and we made it official. We weren't blood cousins so that made it easy to justify our decision when people would ask "ain't y'all related." Yea I was good this way but this visit would break my brother, this visit would probably confuse and hurt him. I decided today I would tell him about the affair I was having with our brother.