DOUBLE STANDARDS

Chapter 1

We were young, it was ten of us all boys. I was the youngest and king was the oldest. But this story will only be about three of us because by the time I turned nine, four of my brothers had been killed in drive bys and we lost contact with the other three when my mama let cps split us up. Me, Cash and Brittany went with our dad. And my other three brothers went with their dads. Yea it was like that they'd rather split us up and not let us see each other cause of some old beef over a bitch who was a dope fiend now. We all didn't share the same dad but somehow we all shared the same birthmark, a small dark or light mark on the top of our foreheads. We used to joke and say it was where our mom probably dropped ashes on us when she would doze off with a cigarette in her mouth tired from a long day of selling pussy. By the way my name is Jasmine, yea my mom used to get that high to where when we were born the bitch still gave some us girls. Four of us to be exact, Tiffany (Tonka), Ashley (Pig), Brittany (Brit), and me Jasmine but everybody called me J man ever since the day I could tell a motha fucca DONT call me Jasmine. When we moved to the projects with our dad we were already a little rough but he made sure we got rougher. He'd done time on and off for fifteen years, sometimes I thought he just made parole the last couple of times so he could get my mama stank ass knocked up. This time the only difference was he probably wouldn't make parole for a while considering he was in the county held on a capital murder charge. We lost our mom to the rock and our dad to the block who left us to stay with his best friend Uncle Smooth. He was like the head nigga in the projects. Nothing came in or went out without homie knowing. Everybody respected the fuck out of him and at a early age I looked up to him too. He was a big black muscular guy with a clean cut beard and always kept a nice taper fade. He played a big role our lives and I took note of his every step. I would walk like him, talk like him, even put aluminum foil in my mouth and imitate a grill like his. Smooth had all the hoes and he made them do whatever he said. I remember one night at the age of ten I walked down the hallway to use the bathroom. His door was open and as I peeped in I saw him standing on the edge of the bed fucking a sexy big booty bitch with long hair that wrapped around her tatted back. She was moaning and shit every time he rammed into her back. I got excited this was pure action for a kid my age. I leaned against the door frame and the floor board creaked underneath me. He turned around not missing a stroke and said to me "You want some of this hoe J man?" I wanted to jump up and down and shout hell yea, but like him I played it cool shrugged my shoulders and said, " Yea  I guess so." I had the stiffest woody walking towards this bitch. She frowned her face up and laughed telling Smooth, "His dick too little," and I knew she regretted it after he slapped her dead in her mouth and said,
"Well make it big." That was my first time, in that room, with a grown ass woman, while my uncle smoked a blunt in the corner and scrolled through his phone. I felt powerful as her head bobbed back and forth in my lap. I didn't understand how women could let my uncle and daddy do them any kind of way.  I started to feel like I had to pee really bad when a feeling took over me that I'd never felt before. I laid there  breathing heavily looking at my uncle as he walked towards me and said, "How does it feel to be a man." That night was the night my uncle created a monster.