Black Velvet

Chapter Eight: Disconnected

I woke up and my head was pounding and I felt very much like a strange person in a strange land. Michael still had his arms wrapped around me and I felt his lips on my neck. His breathing was slow and I was too scared to move because I didn't want to wake him up. My chest began to feel as though someone was pushing an Icy stick down my throat and tears began to well up in my eyes.
I have gone from some hard to get to dick to a vulnerable state where I felt like the littlest person in the world.
Part of me wanted to run to Calum's and plant my lips on his because he was mine but after seeing how easily he could give himself away to someone else, I didn't know how I felt towards him.
Michael's breathing began to pace faster and shallower and I felt his arms tighten around me as he began to wake up. The tears that were threatening to escape let themselves out and I began to weep. "Shhh" Michael persisted under his breath, adjusting himself so he was propping himself up by his arms on the bed. A shiver went through my system as I felt my need to be close to someone, Michael wasn't as built as Calum was yet his warmth against my skin felt different and left me with prickles in my skin.
My heart sank as I heard someone's footsteps approaching my bedroom door, my mum would probably question me within an inch of my life when she saw I was in bed with someone she hadn't met, especially because it wasn't Calum and like myself, mum had found herself rather attached to Calum and pretty much adopted the idea of him always being over as normal. I wanted to sink in between my sheets and hide from what would of been reality, but instead it was not my mum at the door. When my eyes caught shadow of who was in the door the tears down my face fell faster and my vision became blurry as I fought my bed sheets to untangle from me. I flung at Calum who dodged my arms and looked at me almost in horror.
"Why are you in bed with him" Calum said, stiffening in his stance. His eyes were blood shot red and the smell of whiskey stained his breath, he began to walk towards Michael with his fists clenched at his sides. I couldn't speak, he was mad at me? He was about to undress someone in front of me, his lips attached to her as if they belonged on her; and he was mad at me.
To his own defence Michael stood up
"I brought her home. She was sick and I just fell asleep. Although I shouldn't be defending myself against you considering what you did with that bimbo at the party right in front of her. You hurt her and you're mad at her for something that's not even her fault. What's wrong with you" Michael spat out bitterly.
Calum took a second to process Michael's words and then began walking towards me.
His blood shot eyes looked hurt and he pushed the hair off my face and put his other hand on my back.
"I was drunk. She was all over me" Calum said sounding innocently.
"Calum you were on top of her. You could of said no or you could of stayed with me. You left me. What mate were you looking for? You were looking for her and you can't deny it"
Before I had time to finish my rant Calum leant down and placed his lips against mine and I returned the kiss.

***//tagged//***

Behind me I heard Michael let out a long dramatic sigh and sit down on my bed. Once Calum and I pulled apart he looked at me and whispered ‘I’m sorry’ while stepping closer. I don’t know why but I took a set back and with my luck tripped on a pair of jeans I left on the floor yesterday. Calum grabbed me before I could fall and steadied me back on my feet. All of a sudden I felt panicked and claustrophobic; I pushed past Calum and ran downstairs and out the back door grabbing my cigarettes on the way out. There was really nowhere for me to go and there was really no point in going anywhere either so I fell to the floor and lit a cigarette. I sat there trying to use my shitty purple lighter when I looked up and saw Michael and Calum standing in front of me. I watched them stare at me before finally saying ‘what’ and shrugged my shoulders like nothing was wrong. At this point I really don’t give a shit about anything, I could just disappear and it wouldn’t even matter.
‘Lilith, get up’ Michael said, looking down on me.
I didn’t say anything, just blew the smoke out of my mouth above me to blur the faces of the two guys waiting for me to react for just a second. My mind has literally shut down and isn’t functioning or processing anything right now. All I could hear was words being spoken at me but no meaning or purpose behind any of them. Calum sighed and rubbed the back of his neck while Michael sat next to me and took my cigarette from my mouth and put it in his own. Instead of taking it back or telling him off, I pulled out my deck and lit another one. We sat in the grass smoking and Calum joined us on the ground. None of us said anything and there was tension dancing in the air with the smoke.