Air Ball

XXIV: #365DaysOfJecAndJill

JERIC

"Babe, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner. Ang dami kasing pinapabago ng client, e presentation na ng final pitch tomorrow." Jill said apologetically over the phone.

"If your plan is to make me miss you, you're doing a hell of a job. Maybe I should get used to this." I replied with sarcasm, trying to keep my voice even.

"Babawi ako, promise. They're rushing us na kasi they want to start on the campaign as soon as possible. May time-constraint talaga 'tong project." She added.

"I should get used to your 'Babawi ako' din, no?" Irritation was already in my tone.

"Babe naman. This is a huge and important project for me. As a junior account executive, it's a rare opportunity that I've been chosen to participate in this project."She explained patiently.

"So I'm not important, is that what you're implying?" I was too tired to think rationally. Training was doubly tiring today because we were running a new set of plays.

"I'm not implying anything. Ineexplain ko lang para maintindihan mo."

"Yeah, I get it. Your time goes to your work. Tira nalang yung sakin."

"You know that's not true. Hindi ko hawak yung time ko, I'm still learning the ropes of my job."

"Wala naman akong magagawa dun, diba? Puro nalang tayo sorry."I scoffed. My emotions were getting the best of me, along with my desire to see her. It has been quite a while since we last went out together.

"Believe me, I want to spend time with you too. I really really miss you."

"Kung gusto mo naman talaga, may paraan e. But no, you're too busy. Dyan mo na inuubos oras at energy mo."

"Jeric, konting pag-intindi lang naman hinihingi ko. Konting suporta. Ano ba naman yung marinig ko yung simpleng "Kaya mo 'yan" from my boyfriend?" Don't get me wrong, I really am happy for the opportunities that had been given to Jill. But every opportunity meant more work and a crazier schedule.

"Ah, boyfriend mo pa pala ako. Way to make me feel like I still am." I know I sounded like a selfish brat but Jill cancelling or being late on numerous occassions have taken a toll on me.

"Please, wag ka na magtampo. I'll try to sort everything out as soon as I can, okay? Pero right now I just need you to bear with me." Her tone was pleading and I could hear the frustration in her voice.

"Ilang months ka na sa work mo and ever since you started I've been hearing a lot of 'sorrys' and 'I'll make it up to you' which until now hadn't been made up. Gusto ko lang naman maramdaman na nandyan parin yung girlfriend ko. Is that too much to ask? Masyado ba akong demanding kahit konting oras lang hinihingi ko sayo? Hindi ko alam kung pareho tayo ng nararamdaman ngayon pero Jill, gustong gusto kong makita at makasama ka. Yun lang naman. Pero bakit ganun, why does it feel like na sating dalawa ako lang nakakaramdam satin ng ganito?"

The line went silent for a few moments before a sob coming from her broke it. "Ang sakit, Jeric." I heard her sharp intake of air and I could tell she was willing herself not to cry. I immediately regretted the words that came out of my mouth. "Ang sakit na pinapamukha mo sakin yung mga kakulangan ko as your girlfriend. Pero you know what hurts more? The thought na iniisip mo I'm alright with this. Na it isn't hard for me na halos hindi na tayo nagkikita. Hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan, Jeric."

No matter how hard she tried to keep it quiet, her soft sobs still reached my ears. "Sorry that I can't be as demanding as you want me to be. Ayoko lang na mabother ka sa relationship natin because you already have a lot on your plate. It wouldn't do you good to be thinking about other things while you're on the court kasi alam ko how hard you work just to be there. I don't want to ruin that with my rants and complaints. Sorry if I made you feel like this is alright with me when in reality, it's the opposite." She paused before speaking again. "And I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the girlfriend you wished you had."