Suffer \\One Direction and 5sos//

chapter 19- Ran and Ran and Ran

The car ride back was silent, I kept looking at Luke and his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. Why was he mad at me? I did nothing.

Was he just mad because I didn't tell him how I became an orphan? I feel uncomfortable telling the story, it's not my fault.

He pulled up to the hotel and got out right away as I did. I chased after him, going to confront him.

"Luke!" I yell to him trying to make him stop, but he keeps looking forward and clenches his jaw. "Luke, stop!" I yell at him again and step in front of him but he just steps around me.

I just stand there, looking at the back of his head. A tear streaks down my cheek. I sat down on a bench outside of the hotel and removed my shoes, rubbing the soles.

More silent tears find their way down my face. I wipe away the tears and also some black eye liner. I just sit there and cry, no one passes by since it's 12 at night, almost 1 in the morning.

Eventually I get up and walk through the building, one guy dressed in a hotel uniform looked at me and looked like he was going to stop and talk to me, but he just hesitates and walked away. I went up the stairs instead of the elevator because I couldn't really care less.

I didn't have a key to the room so I knocked on it and heard shuffling, Zayn opened the door and his smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown, he knew from my eyes that I wasn't okay. I mean my face had streaks of black running down them and my eyes were pink from crying, so I looked pretty bad.

I just walked by him and into the bathroom, passing all the boys who stared at me strangely. I got the make up remover wipes and removed the horrid black stains from my face along with all the other make up I had on. I pulled my hair into a pony tail and went back into the room reserved for me. I changed into a tank top and running shorts, I also pulled on my new sneakers.

I left the room, taking a room key and getting questionable looks from the boys once again. I took the stairs and went down to the work out room, the sign read that it closed at 10 but I entered anyway. I simply went to the treadmill and started running, I thought about my troubles while running, it was actually quite soothing.

I just ran and ran and ran.

I was sweating heavily and I was out of breath I left and checked the clock on the wall. 1:45 am. Time to shower, thank god.

....

I woke up feeling like absolute shit. This feeling in my chest had been there all night, and it took me forever to fall asleep. I didn't want to get up to even brush my hair. I hadn't felt this way in months, it felt as if I was dying. I was caving in from the inside out.

Luke's face appeared in my mind, ecspecially when my eyes were closed. He was in my dream that night.

Eventually, I did get up though, and immediately felt sick and ran to the bathroom, and opened the door with force. Someone was in the shower but I needed to get to the toilet, I lifted the lid quickly and let the little bit of contents in my stomach come out. Whoever was in the shower had heard me throwing up and called for help, but I couldn't tell who it was because I couldn't hear anything with this ringing in my ears.

I sat up and wiped my mouth, sniffing a little because my nose had gotten stuffy as well. I had my eyes closed and I sat back down my butt, away from the toilet, clutching my stomach.

Someone was at my side and rubbed my back softly. I coughed and opened my eyes a little bit. I heard mumblings out in the hallway, I stood up and was helped by whoever was rubbing my back. I flushed the toilet, and spit into the sink, trying to remove any extra vomit left in my mouth. My head hurt like a bitch, and I wasn't to keen on my sense of smell right now either.