Midnight Star

Chapter XVI

I was pacing back in forth in my room later that same night. Come morning I would have to leave and I swore I wouldn't leave without talking to Aaravos. Even if he doesn't say anything I have to get it off my chest.

Stopping dead in my tracks I look at my nightstand, when I ran away I had forgotten that I still had the small worm with me and subsequently brought it with me to my room. This is the only way I can get the message to him, it's the most cowardly way since I won't be looking at him in the eyes but it's the only way I can. Opening the drawer I see the small creature moving around restlessly, I never noticed it before but does the familiar... Mimic how Aaravos is feeling? It's much more agitated and restless than it has ever been, the poor thing looked panicked, and if this is actually how it's creator is feeling then that just makes me feel horrible. I never want to cause someone this level of distress.

Picking it up I let it crawl around my palm before taking in a calming breath and placing it on my shoulder, I knew it would position itself a top my ear soon enough. I'm not ready, I don't think I'll ever be but it's now or forever wish I'd spoken.

I mentally prepared myself as best as I could before I began to monologue.

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"Aaravos, I don't know if you read my note. I didn't mean to avoid you for as long as I did and I'm sorry. When I figured out what you said I... I was so happy. But I was also scared, scared about what that said about me. I'm a soldier, trained to fight your kind and defend my country and I feared what others would think if they knew I liked you back."

I don't know if I'll be able to continue as well as I'm doing if he said anything. My voice was already shaky and my palms began to sweat.

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"I'm not ashamed of these feelings but I don't want to lose my friends, Amaya specifically. She would hate me if she knew and I can't imagine loosing her. She's one of the most important people in my life and imagining her hating me for something I can't control tears me up. I can't think about living without her in my life but I also can't imagine it without you there too."

Amaya has been the closest thing to family that I have and I can't imagine loosing her. She'll definitely be mad with me but with time I know she'll like Aaravos too.

If anyone told me that I would care for an elf practically as much as I care about my best friend, someone who's like family to me, I wouldn't have believed them. How could I? I was raised and trained to see them as monsters. Yet when I'm around Aaravos I don't see a monster, I see him for who he is. An intelligent and helpful man who's been hurt so much he shut away his own past.

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"I wanted to be there when you got free from the mirror but sadly that won't be possible. The others are arriving tomorrow and in the morning I'll be heading back to the Breach. But I'll be sure to come back and when I do I'll show you around the city. It'll be great, I could show you all my favorite places and we can enjoy ourselves without worrying about a war."

How wonderful it would be to not have to worry about the war. By the time I come back here it'll hopefully be over, if... No not if, when Callum and Rayla take the dragon prince back to the Queen. The young princes' have done so much already for this country, Sarai would be proud.

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"I'm not even sure if you're actually hearing this, it is quite late now. But if you are there's one thing I absolutely need to tell you before I leave. It's about your past, I know you don't want to know and I respect that but there's a piece of information you should be aware of. You weren't the monster others make you out to be. You cared and risked a lot for us humans and don't let anyone tell you what you are based on your past. Those who call you a monster haven't seen you for who you really are. I have and you're far from a monster in my eyes."

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"I tell you all of this because I don't want to regret having not told you everything I felt before I left. I'll miss our conversations and banter. I'll even miss the way you would sometimes make fun of my seemingly random and useless questions like the time I asked if your skin is warm like a star would be or cold like emptiness. And you responded with 'Why don't you find out' and I stupidly reached towards the mirror to actually try. You wouldn't let me live that down for quite a while..."

I let out a nostalgic laugh as the memory of that day came flashing back to me. It was one of those lazy days, nothing interesting to do so I spent it mostly talking to him about random topics that some how led to me asking about his temperature. Despite the out of place question that conversation was entertaining and I'll cherish it always. Even if the rest of the conversation was spent trying to stop him from making fun of me.

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"When I come back I really hope you and Claudia managed to figure out a way to free you. Even if I'm not around to see the results until the Prince's coronation, don't give up. Amaya may not like you at first but I know you will be able to change her mind with time... I know I don't have to worry about you and Claudia finding a way to free you honestly. You're both really smart and when it comes to magic I've never seen skills like yours, same goes to Claudia who much like her father is highly skilled in dark magic. So promise me you'll find a way so we can meet, not through a reflection in a mirror but face to face."

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I waited a few seconds in total silence, waiting for any sort of response. Not hearing anything I place my hands in my face and take a calming breath before saying my farewells.

"I guess this is goodbye for now huh, Aaravos? I'll miss you while I'm in the Breach but I'll come back. I swear. Just promise you'll wait for me, okay?"

Picking up the diminutive insect I place it back where I've been keeping it the past three days. I would be giving it to Opeli come morning and in turn she would give it to Claudia. She would need it more than me anyways. Closing the drawer I failed to hear a sound escape the familiar now safely tucked away until the morning.