Cruel Kiss (On Hold)

Chapter 17- Secrets Kept

"Guys...I'm sorry." I say, my voice breaking at the lie I've told.

"You had better be sorry. Do you have any idea the pain you've caused your mother and I?" He demands, his eyes filled with anger.

"Joseph-", my mother says sternly.

"Where the hell have you been? With these two, I suppose?" He asks, his finger coming up to point at Cole and Maddie.

"I've been staying with them, yes, but it isn't what you think." I tell him, my eyes pleading with him to understand.

"Well then, I guess you'd better start explaining then. I'm about at my wits end with you, Kenna." He tells me.

I huff out a shaky breath, my eyes meeting Maddie's. She gives me a small, reassuring smile and a slight nod of her head. I bring my hand up to tug on my ponytail, pulling the band tighter. There's a slight pain in my scalp when I pull it too tight.

"I've been sneaking out at night, to go and get drunk. I haven't been sleep walking, I've just been coming back wasted." I lie, already hating myself for saying this.

"The day that I went to the mall, I was hung over. All I could think about was going to go get more to drink. So I snuck away from Avery and left." I say, willing my voice to remain steady.

"Oh, Kenna. Why didn't you tell us when this first started?" My mother asks.

"I was scared to. At first I didn't want to disappoint you, and then I was afraid that you'd make me stop." I lie, peaking a glance at her and instantly regretting it.

Her face is a mask of sadness and pity. She gives me a small, sympathetic smile before saying, "Well, at least you're telling us now. That's the first step, sweetie."

"So how did you end up with these two? Why didn't you call?" My father questions.

"That first day I was so drunk that I fell and it cracked my phone. I didn't really think much about it. When I finally sobered up enough to think things through, I was too scared to call." I tell him, looking into his eyes for a brief moment before looking away again.

"I knew I couldn't come back until I was sober. So I crashed with Cole and Maddie, they're friends from school. I've spent the rest of the days since finding a rehab place that I could go to." I finish, taking a deep breath as I wait for their response.

I couldn't believe I've done this to them. This feeling in my gut is awful, and I hate myself just a little. I can feel droplets of cold sweat rolling down my back. I can't let my nerves get the best of me, not now.

"I think I need a glass of water. Anyone else want anything?" My mother asks suddenly, standing up.

We all tell her no, and she walks down the hall towards the kitchen. Another slash of guilt goes through me, and the animal in my veins cracks open an eye. It stirs in the back of my mind, as if to say, Are you okay?

I have to stop myself from nodding my head. I'm going to be fine. I have to be strong now, I have more than just myself to think about right now. Yet, every ounce of sadness I inflict on them makes me feel worse. Is this better than them worrying? I'm not so certain anymore.

"You honestly think you need to go to rehab, Kenna?" My father asks tentatively.

I allow a moment to go by, to seem as though I'm thinking it through. In the back of my mind, I can't help but think of how different this conversation would have been if I had told them the truth. Sadness and worry would have, no doubt, turned to fear. Especially if I had shown them the animal that I could turn into.