New Beginnings- (Jesse Polock)

7

We arrived at where headspace wanted to meet us. We all walked in. The hallway was huge and very shiny. It was slightly draughty though. I think this was because of how big the space was and to how empty it was with the lack of furniture.  Maxi went up to the counter and told the receptionist that they had arrived. We sat in a little waiting area. We were given some leaflets about headspace. Which made me laugh as the woman clearly didn’t recognise Jesse and Maxi, who are ambassadors for headspace.

“She clearly didn’t recognise us.” Maxi said laughing. Jesse laughed too. I was reading the leaflet. It was very interesting. I didn’t really realise what they did. Being a mental health sufferer myself I would love to do what the boys are doing some day. A woman walked by and gave me a funny look, which made me feel uncomfortable. She must have seen my scars, or she was jealous that Jesse was my boyfriend. I stood up and said to Jesse that I needed some fresh air and walked outside. Jesse followed me out.

I sat on the floor outside and lit a cigarette. I rested my arms on my knees as they were bent up to my chest.

“What’s up?” Jesse asked sitting next to me. I shrugged

“I feel uncomfortable, and that woman gave me a funny look. Like I was some crazy attention seeker.” I said taking a drag on my cigarette.

“No that was Harriet, she had a thing for Maxi. Then she found out he was with Erin, then decided to have a thing for me. She probably gave you the death glare because you’re my girlfriend not her.” He said looking at me. I smiled looking back at him. “I only have eyes for you, you know that. I have only ever had eyes for you.”

“What about those other girls?” I said to him.

“They meant nothing. I’ve only ever wanted you. I was with them but lying to them about seeing you. I wanted you to be mine years ago but I never plucked up the courage to ask you. Watching the way they treated you broke my heart. Kory can vouch for that. I would go round to his in state after seeing you in hospital because I couldn’t imagine live without you” He said quickly only really pausing for air.

“I love you.” I said leaning in to kiss him. He kissed me back.

“I love you too.” He replied

“I just feel a bit of a hypocrite, sitting here with fresh scars on my arm” I said to him.

“Don’t” he said, “We all have our demons, here of all people understand” With that we both stood up and walked back inside. We sat back down with Maxi.

“You okay Rubs?” Maxi asked. I nodded.

“Yeah I’m fine” I replied, “Just having one of my moments” I said with a smirk.

Just then a lady wearing a suit and a pair glasses came out and called the boys in.

“I’ll sit here if you like?” I said to Jesse as he stood up. He shook his head.

“No I’m sure you’re allowed to come” He said looking at the woman.

“Of course she is, is she your girlfriend?” She asked, we both nodded.

“Hi, I’m Ruby” I said outstretching my hand to shake hers. He took a brief glance at my arms and I noticed. I pulled my arm away and crossed my arms rubbing my forearm.

“Hi Ruby, I’m Natasha, nice to meet you. It’ll be lovely for you to see first-hand what the boys do and maybe you could help too.” She said as she led us toward her office. I grabbed Jesse’s hand.

“Don’t be nervous” he whispered in my ear. We all sat round the desk and Natasha pulled out some of the projects/visits they had coming up. It was lovely seeing the boys getting so passionate about something they love. Especially Jesse. They carried on discussing up and coming works.

“How about you Ruby?” she said looking at me, “Fancy helping out?”

“I’m not entirely sure you’re the person I want” I said rubbing my arms “I’m not the most mentally stable person myself. I doubt I’d be able to give anyone any good advice. They’re hardly going to take advice from someone with fresh scars on their arms are they?”

Jesse came and sat by me.

“You can do this, you know you can. You’re stronger than you think. Also you’ll have me and Maxi there plus some of the boys from work.” He said looking at me

“It makes a difference to some of our youngsters if they talk to people with a real experience and how they deal with things. 9 times out of ten the person giving the advice also helps themselves, so I personally think it’s worth it.” Natasha said. I sat and thought about it.

“Okay” I said, I heard Maxi go ‘YESSSSSS’ and I could feel Jesse smile as he kissed me cheek. I smiled a little.

“Brilliant!” Natasha exclaimed, “Welcome to the team. Now we’ll need to take some details from you”

We went through these and also arranged a date for a photo shoot.

We said goodbye to Natasha and make our way back to Bondi where Maxi had to pick up his bike. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being carried into the house. Jesse carried me up the stairs and put me too bed kissing me forehead. He then returned downstairs. I’m my confused state I climbed out of bed to go and find Jesse but missed my footing on the stairs. I stumbled and hit my head on the wall. I then woke up at the bottom of the stairs.

“Shit Ruby, what were you doing?” Jesse said as I woke up.

“Looking for you” I said sitting up, “Shit my head hurts and my side”

“Yeah you’ve got a pretty nasty bump to your head and a cut to your side.” He said trying to stop the bleeding, “Lie back down until the ambulance gets here” I rolled my eyes and did as I was told.

Soon enough the ambulance showed up and Jesse let them in. They came over and started to asses me. They cleared my c-spine and back as I had no pain there. The lump on my head is a good sign as it shows that the swelling is outside of my skull not the inside and as for the cut, they closed it with steri strips.

After the paramedics left I text Hop and asked him about work.

“What did Hop say” Jesse asked as he gave me a drink.

“He said he’s putting me on tower duties for the next week, better that I’m at work in case I collapse or something.” I said to Jesse reading my phone. He nodded in agreement.

“Want to go to bed now?” he asked I nodded and he picked me up and carried me back up the stairs. He put me down on the bed. I changed myself into my underwear and pulled the covers over me. Jesse did the same and pulled me close to him.

“You scared me you know” he said hugging me, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. You know how clumsy I am” I said looking at him. I kissed him and he returned the kiss and I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up during the night, Jesse was asleep snoring, with a pounding headache. I got out of bed to walk to the bathroom. I looked in the bathroom mirror to see a bruise appearing around my eye and on the side of my forehead. I took some painkillers and returned to bed. I tried falling back to sleep but couldn’t. I decided to get my phone out and watch some videos. This didn’t work so I tried reading a book which eventually sent me back to sleep.