In the Shadow of Lights

You

Pain

Anger

Loneliness

The perfect combination for the already fragile Kim Namjoon. The boy who keeps hanging onto love when he knows nothing he does will make him love- or even like him back. His hyung was just too stupid, too dense... Too... Broken to actually accept his love... Why was reality cruel? Why can't fantasies stay like that? Why can't you stay asleep in dreamland so everything you do would have no consequences?

Instead of ways to try to get out of his toxic thinking, he continues the pattern. Meeting up once in a while. Get his thoughts and words twisted into mush then being sent home in a fit of anger. Then his hyung asking for forgiveness 3 weeks later. It was always like this. Always always always. He should let go... But what is holding him back from it? His sense of hope to fix the poor guy? His fear of being forgotten by his unrequited love? Well, whatever... He despised it. He despised himself for holding on to someone who does not want anything.

And that weekly meetup? He was naive enough to go back and crawl back to those arms full of black and poison. But it was addicting. Like a drug. The sweet nothings, the pain and pleasure brought out.

xxx-xxx-xxxx: Namjoon. Bring pizza and some drinks. Remember, 5 o'clock sharp at the same place. Don't be late or I'm leaving.

Namjoon looked at the message and his heart skipped a beat. Why was it whenever his hyung text him or actually acknowledged him in general, it was enough to make his heart go in a frenzy and butterflies start flying around in his stomach? He believed this was love... Yes. How else can you explain the redness in his cheeks, or the burning sensation left whenever they touch by accident?

Buying the pizza and some whiskey, he heads out to the spot where they first met. It was the space where Namjoon fell ridiculously in love.

Flashback

Namjoon was walking in the rain down the Setsuna River as he just looked blankly at the ground. Just earlier his boyfriend of 5 years broke up with him just like that. And the excuse was that Namjoon was just too "boring." Tch. What a damn jerk. But if he didn't act like he cared... Why was he feeling like everything had been put onto his shoulders? Like charcoal had been smeared across his heart and it wasn't washing away?

So, that lead him to standing underneath the dead cherry blossom tree with the river overflowing from the rain. How pretty it looked. With the roaring sounds of waves being violently thrown back and forth from the walls. All while heading downstrem to who knows where. How would it feel if he was part of those waves? To feel himself running into the walls, feeling bones crack and pop. At least he would feel like shit as he was on the inside.

Without thinking he started towards the river. That is, until someone grabbed his forearm and pulled him back before his entire body was engulfed by the agitated water.

"Why the hell were you walking in there?! Huh?! Answer me goddamn it!" A stranger that was shorter than him said. His eyes... They were something to look at... And his hair was such a pretty colour to... How would it feel if his fingers could run through that silky looking hair?

"I asked you a question! Are you deaf?!" The stranger asked again.

"No.. I'm not... Sorry for troubling you.." Namjoon said quietly as he looked back down.

"Well. Don't do that again you idiot." He let go of the others arm. "By the way, what's your name?"

"Why would you want to know that?" Namjoon said in surprise as he looked at the other.

"Because, I want to know who I saved and why they almost walked into the river without second thoughts." The guy siad in a softer tone.

"K-Kim Namjoon..." He said, lightly blushing. "And you?"

"Min... Min Yoongi."

Flashback End

To be continued...