I'm at constant war with myself. I wonder how long I can keep up this facade of normality. My grip is slipping. Sweat lines my brow. My legs are giving out. How much longer can I hold this weight up? I'm running on pure determination, but I find even that is running out. I'm losing this battle with the world. All of my forces are attacking each other, leaving me almost defenseless. If not for the walls surrounding me, I would have already been overrun.
People ask to be let inside, but I deny them. They call me selfish, but find themselves unaware of the chaos behind the walls. It's safer to stay outside and face the blows of the world, because at least those can be healed. When you cause your own wounds, they don't heal. The wounds may fade away to the eyes, but they hurt just as bad. They don't bleed blood, but they do bleed. Your hope, happiness, control, sanity, and will are forced out through the wounds. Invisible to the eye, no one but you will ever notice. You feel drained, barely able to find the motivation to live.
Everyone should have a safe place to go to in their mind, but mine is a warzone. There is only one way to escape; lies. Even if you chose that path, you run the risk of losing yourself in the ever changing maze where what you know and what you want exist in the same plane. A maze so unstable that there's no guaranteed exit.
I find myself so weak. My mind is battered, my heart is torn, my soul is destroyed, my body is damaged. Slowly, I find myself weakening, dying.
YOU ARE READING
The Feelings Which Flow Through Me
РазноеThe feelings that I have felt, the feelings which I buried have come bursting forth. Breaking to the surface. This is for me. This is my quick release valve.
