brief plot summary: ash finds eiji crying in the bathroom one night.
Ash shifted in his blankets, uncomfortable, toes curling and eyelids twitching as demons and horrors haunted his dreamtime. They had gotten better since that night with eiji, but the nightmares persisted.
But things felt different this time. No, not the red faced demon that looked suspiciously like a certain dino golzine, but there was something missing. Something wrong, and ash felt his heart throb with the peculiar feeling as he jerked awake. Cold sweat, as usual. Heavy breathing, as usual. Panicked eyes, as usual.
Eiji wasnt in his bed, not usual.
Fuck, eiji's always asleep during these hours... Ash's green lnyx-like eyes scratched every dark corner lf their shared bedroom, desperately searching for the japanese boy. Waa he kidnapped? Did he just get a little hungry and had gone for a midnight munchie? Or was he k--
A small wet noise from the bathroom halted ash's high speed train of thought. Just a noise. But immediately, ash recognised it as eiji's.
Sniffing...
His eyes widened. Eiji. Crying? Ash leapt off the bed as silently as he could and yanked open the door, and saw something he never wished he would see: his dear eiji, curled up in the corner of the bathroom, hunched body trembling with muffled sobs and hands covering his face, tears lacing his fingers like transparent ribbons.
Ash felt his throat tighten, mind desperately clawing at something that might help the situation. Shit, shit i'm so bad at this... how does eiji do it so well? He crouched down, cautiously, leveling himself with the crying boy. "E-eiji, um..."
Eiji flinched, but relaxed once the felt the soft weight of ash's tentative hand on his back. It tremored slightly, like a scared puppy, but eiji seemed calm enough to removed his hands from his face. His normally bright eyes were tinged red and glossy with tears, a faraway sadness swirling in them. His ever so faithful lips managed a heart breaking smile, and ash wondered how he could smile through all that sadness in his eyes.
"H-hey, ash." Eiji's pretty lips parted to those shaky words, and it broke ash's heart for the second time. His throat was dry and his tongue numb; he didn't know what to say, and was at a total loss for what could comfort a person. What would upset eiji this much?
"Did you just wake from a nightmare, ash?" Eiji flashed a sweet smile, as if nothing was wrong. "Y-yes, how did you know?"
"You are sweating a lot now," eiji's voice, though quivering, retained it's sweet melody. "That's why i though so. Dont worry, w-whatever it is, the fear will g-go away, okay?"
Ash's hands fell to his sides. He felt his eyes prick with emotion, agitation so strong it was almost anger. This boy... "Eiji, i cant just... not do something about this," ash said through gritted teeth. His words sounded rough but his eyes were not. "You're the one who needs consoling, and here you are just..."
Eiji's brown eyes widened, his raising as if he wanted to calm ash. "Ash, i--"
he didnt get much out as ash wrapped his arms around him, warming him against the cold bathroom tiles.
"You're good damn stupid sometimes," ash growled, speaking carefully. "You're the one who's crying, yet you still bother asking about my frequent nightmares...." his arms wound tighter around eiji. "Care.... care about yourself more."
The hug was sloppy, ash awkwardly trying to provide eiji with some physical comfort while doing his best not to overstep his boundaries.
But at the moment, eiji was breaking. The normally tactful boy was desperate for more comfort, relishing in the safety of ash's embrace, wanting more; Ash was tiptoeing in a soundproof room.
So he flung is arms around ash in return, hands tugging at ash's dress shirt as eiji buried his face in ash's shoulder, crying, almost bawling as he let his feelings soak the fabric. And Ash could only press eiji closer to him and rub his back soothingly, offering physical comfort to make for his terrible use of words. Only sourness could come out of that mouth, but those arms could at least make eiji feel warm for a while.
Eiji continued to cry for a bit before he finally tore himself from ash's shoulder, wiping tears from his face before smiling gratefully. "Th-thanks, ash." His voice still quivered. "i needed that."
ash frowned, keeping his arms wound around eiji. "There must be something bothering you." Ash was trying. "Please tell me."
The japanese sighed with a small smile, and snuggled deeper into Ash's warm embrace. "I-i was just.... sad about some life decisions, that's a-all..."
"I just felt like i couldn't d... do anything to help you guys and the only reason im even here is because i got so depressed that ibe-s-san had to take get me out of japan... i'm a dead weight. A useless, pampered boy who got it easy while people like you work so hard to improve your situations..."
Eiji trembled as sobs and hiccups began making his sentences turbulent, his small frame shaking against ash and worrying the blonde.
Ash tried rubbing eiji's back soothingly, and there were so many words, so many thoughts that piled up in ash's mind that they stepped over each other to reach his mouth and cluttered up his throat. So many words that not a single one escaped his lips Youre not a burden youre not useless you literally saved my life ibe was trying to help because he cares and i care and the whole gang loves you i love you
One of these thoughts made his heart stop for a moment. And he nearly thought eiji would have noticed his heart stop, with the japanese pressed close to his chest. I love you. Ash wondered if eiji could hear the rapid beating out his heart.
Love.
"Ei-eiji, i'm, im so terribly bad with words but i," ash managed, feeling his heart leap once again as eiji's glossy doe eyes looked up at him in curiousity. "I want to make you feel better, but im at a loss."
Ash lynx, the genius with an IQ of 180, was completely helpless with eiji in his arms.
the ebony haired boy just smiled, understandingly, turning so he could rest his cheek on ash's shoulder. "It's alright ash. You being here with me is good enough." The tears were now dry and there was a pleasant smile on his face, allowing ash to breath a little easier. "im... glad." ash murmured.
glad is far too mild a word.
"U-um. Is it okay if i, sleep with you in your bed tonight?" Eiji asked softly, and ash never nodded faster. The blonde stood up from the bathroom floor, helping eiji up and not letting go of his hand as they stepped back in the warm confines of their bedroom.
They slipped under the covers with no word exchanged, just a couple of understanding smiles. Eiji was lying on his side with his back facing ash when two sinewy arms cautiously snuck around his middle, and when no resistence was given and eiji even shifted backwards acceptingly, they snaked the rest of the way around and held eiji tight and firm.
the "Thanks, ash" that followed was so soft and sweet that it almost made ash cry. God was he lucky to have this angel encased in his arms... and the angel didnt deserve to be crying like that a few minjtes ago. He didnt deserve to have so much self-hate directed at himself. No, he deserved to know everything that made him so perfect.
"eiji, you're a wonderful person, never forget that."
And like that, the words began drifting out of ash's lips smoothly. Things that made eiji so lovable, all the things eiji had done to help ash and the gang, all the praise ibe and max had for eiji, strung themselves out like notes on a score and ash spent the night whispering these to eiji as they fell asleep, love underscoring every word he said.
He didnt know when eiji finally slipped into dreamland, or how much of his ramblings he had heard, but somewhere, sometime, ash may or may not have added those words i love you in.
A warm body snoring softly and peacefully beside him, ash didnt care if eiji heard it or not. he snuggled closer to eiji, losing himself to sleep.
As long as he could make eiji feel better.
