Wanderer

Flares in the Darkness

Chapter Twenty One- Flares in the Darkness

Someone in Slytherin- Draco could probably hazard a guess who- had decided that in a grand gesture of inter-House relations and post-War euphoria, (and a blatant attempt to get the House of the Snakes back into everyone's good books), it would be a bright idea to throw a New Years' Eve Party in the Common Room. He had hoped to avoid it but after climbing into bed immediately after dinner and settling down to sleep, Blaise had barged his way in, yanked the covers back and told him that he was moping again and Granger wouldn't be happy.

At that point, Draco had pulled a face and asked why he should care whether or not his moping made Granger happy but Blaise had silenced him with a look that he knew he couldn't argue with and shoved a bottle of firewhiskey at him, claiming he needed a bit of liquid courage. So he got dressed in his black slacks, sipping at the alcohol to soothe his trembling hands, brushed his hair with an actual comb and not his fingers like he had gotten into the habit of doing, rolled his sleeves to his elbows and applied the gel. He even allowed a moment of vanity. Draco hadn't looked at himself in the mirror for a long time; he could barely remember what he looked like as he braced his hands on the sink, breathing heavily.

In.

Out.

In.

Stealing the courage to look up-

His chin looked pointier than usual, his cheeks sallower and sharper, his eyes sunk into the pale skull of his head. His hair was white and sterile. But his left forearm was just as pale as the rest of him. He swallowed and his throat bobbed, the chords of his life straining. Closing his eyes, Draco leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the mirror. His breath fogged the glass, bouncing back at him. When did it all go so wrong? When did it get so messy that he couldn't even recognise himself?

Granger's voice floated back to him. Make yourself the Queen.

He drew himself up to his full height. His knuckles were as white as the porcelain. Draco stole another breath before turning away, leaving his dormitory and ascending into the party.

It was raucous, a steadfast whirlwind of booziness and gaiety, a crescendo of hot breath that burned throats, brief snippets of dreams transcending the very limits of human capability, and elaborate acts they would no doubt regret come morning.

And it was thrilling.

Bodies grasped and writhed in time to the music, sweat crystallising flicks of eyebrows and cuts of jaws. The light was low, flickering every other second with a ripple from the lake, or maybe it was the hood of Draco's eyes from the second firewhiskey he'd had before braving the party that made the room and the people in it so dark. Though the party was technically only open to Fifth Years and older, he knew from their trembling arms and wide eyes that some younger years must have crept in. He stood, rooted to the steps for a long time. The music pounded within him, drum beat ricocheting against his ribs each time he rattled a breath. He felt suffocated by it.

He had never seen life act so freely and decadently as everyone, almost desperately, tried to forget the year and look ahead to the dawn of a new one-

It was too much. The band felt heavy around his ankle, dragging him down, chaining him to the past.

Draco closed his eyes. Everything fell away, went silent.

"Draco!"

He opened them, and saw Blaise through the crowd, beckoning him over. Sighing, he let himself be swallowed by the pulse of the party. Draco pushed through throngs of people, ducking under loose limbs and sidestepping stumblers. A girl threw herself at him, laughing that damp laugh that warmed his face through. Her hands were like claws, clutching onto his skin and shirt as though she would melt if she let go. Draco doubted she could see who it was she was touching, eyes rolling back into her head, and he took pity on her. Disentangling her as best he could, murmuring that she perhaps should stop now, but she ignored him, and let herself get swept into the arms of another boy who would no doubt take a very different approach.